WriterBear

The Secret Revealed...

2012-02-11T09:27:00.000-05:00

Although I no longer have my creativity blog, I'm still interested in creativity in general - how to encourage it, maintain it - all aspects, really. So I was intrigued to read this article on how, basically, altering your mind state from alert concentration can actually fuel creative thought. The article talks specifically about being drunk or sleepy. I've never tried to write drunk (though the history of literature is full of great writers who were also heavy drinkers) - the problem being, I might have a burst of creativity, then get really sleepy, then... sleep. Alcohol in general just makes me sleepy, with very little creative jolt in between. And obviously, as a creative pump-primer, it's a little hard on the liver.

Writing sleepy, however, is a lot easier for most of us to accomplish. I get up early to write, and since me and mornings don't generally mix, I write sleepy. If I write at all, that is. It's frankly a lot easier to get enthusiastic about drinking a glass of wine than it is to get up on a cold winter morning (or any morning) and stumble to the computer to create brilliant prose. No, I'd much rather curl up in my nice warm bed and sleep... or maybe think about my story. Or any other story. But this research may spur me on to actually get up and get going. I can see the truth in it; and writing - especially first drafts - while you're in a state where your internal editor is still half-asleep, can open up new avenues to those surprises that are essential to good storytelling. It's possible to be too over-controlled, and first drafts should be messy.

I have to continually tell myself this since I tend to want to control everything, to know what's coming and how to do it. I have to remind myself to let the story grow organically, that if I'm not surprised, the reader won't be either. Part of the fun of writing is letting the unconscious pop up surprises - images, phrases, characters, plot points - and then figuring out how to use them.

New cubs!

2012-02-03T11:56:00.003-05:00

This year the NABC has a den cam in Jewel's den, and they are regularly updating their youtube channel with videos. You can watch them here. Jewel is the daughter of June (the bear in the photo on this blog) and she's had her first litter of 2 cubs a week or so ago. They are tiny but very loud and very active! You can view the live den cam here. They won't know whether they are male or female for a while yet - their eyes aren't even open. Lily and Faith, and Honey and Lucky, also have den cams, so check them out to see a mom with a yearling, or two adults of different genders and ages, denning together.

2012-02-02T09:59:00.000-05:00

This article, "Can Bells and Whistles Save the E-Book?" on Salon.com brings up some interesting points about the advantages and limitations of so-called "enhanced" e-books - the ones that come with video, sound effects. and other additions that supposedly enhance the reading experience. But as Laura Miller points out, when we read, we already create a world within our minds, and these supposed enhancements can actually take us away from that world.

My view is that, like anything else, this can be used well or badly. And these days, publishers are still figuring out how to do it right. I worry about kids whose imaginations are stunted by the fact that 3-D experiences are now provided for them at every opportunity - popular books are made into movies, e-books are enhanced with all sorts of sensory input, animations, video, sound, linked online content... are we simply meeting kids where they are today, or creating a situation that is an increasingly passive experience for the reader? Reading is a participatory experience, at its best. You have to use your imagination to help make the world vivid in your mind, and the best stories and characters make us think about them, and what might happen, for a long time after finishing the book.

I am not against e-books, or e-readers; as a frequent traveler, I've found them a godsend, although I tend to read "real" books at home. And although I say "real" tongue in cheek, what matters - and what I don't think is going away - is story, and the human hunger for it. However the stories are presented, people will always enjoy a good story, well told.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-20T22:14:00.001-05:00

Um, since it's almost Chinese New Year, I'd say it's about time. The rest of you are like, "We started 2012 a few weeks ago, thanks." Family emergencies have prohibited regular posting, but I'll try to be better now.

Following on my last post, they are slowly revealing the LOTR Lego characters. Here is the latest, Legolas (LEGOlas, get it?). Love the cheekbones. At least I think they're supposed to be cheekbones, not facial scars a la Inigo Montoya.

In LA recently they did a live reading of The Princess Bride. Fred Savage returned to play the boy. Cary Elwes played Prince Humperdinck (guess he wanted to try life on the dark side). Wish I could have seen it!

I've Gotta Get This...

2011-12-26T12:47:00.001-05:00

Hobbit/LOTR Legos? For real? How cute are they? I'll have to get some for my desk or maybe bookshelf at work.

No, I'm not a kindergarten teacher. But I have a random collection of stuff that has very little to do with Higher Education in my office, including: a squeezable brain; a mini hippie duck and a mini surfer duck; mini versions of the pyramids and sphinx (just as well, the life-size versions wouldn't really fit); a Red Sox bear, a kiwi dressed in an all-blacks uniform that chants the haka; a mini Zen garden (the sand gets everywhere if I'm not careful) and a variety of other random objects, most with some cultural significance or other. Mardi Gras beads, Japanese dolls, a pendant to ward off the evil eye... those, and plants, are taking over my office. I'm not a plant person, but people keep giving them to me, and colleagues are kind enough to stop by once in a while to make sure they are watered/cut back, and generally cared for, since I tend not to notice. In fact, my boss gave me a plant the other day and I didn't even notice I had a new one until he pointed it out.

But I have piles of papers on my desk that could easily be filed (cough, cough) to make way for an entire Middle-Earth diorama. I could hang a Lego Smaug off the desk lamp. I could put Mt. Doom on top of one of the piles of paper (apt, no?). Frodo and/or Bilbo and friends could wander around my desk, evading orcs, trolls, wargs, etc. while trying to find treasure/get rid of the ring. This would all be a lot more fun than doing my actual job.

Of course, nothing could beat Lord of the Peeps.

The Sound of Paper

2011-12-23T11:03:00.001-05:00

Whew! Now that I've got all my Creative Swim posts transferred here, I'm feeling a bit less fragmented, and more attuned with my ongoing exploration creativity in general. I've been reading another of Julia Cameron's books, The Sound of Paper, which is a collection of short essays and exercises on her usual topics - overcoming creative blocks of all kinds. I like the "creative gulp" offered by the 2-3 page chapters and the short exercises... easier to digest than the chapters of The Artist's Way and some of her other books. I can read a chapter or two before Morning Pages, and prime the pump a little, and remember some of the lessons of a creative life that seem to slip off the radar so easily: write a little every day, keep the faith, etc. Yes, it sounds banal baldly put like that, but creativity is very much an interior struggle - it takes place in largely in the unconscious, where the rational does not hold sway.

It helps to be familiar with her concepts of Morning Pages and Artist Dates, but you don't need to be to get the most out of the book. Yes, it's repetitive, but sometimes we just need that encouraging voice on repeat, because the message never gets old. Our creative lives are important. Our art is worth pursuing, whether or not we ever receive public acclaim for it.

Creative Swim: The Art of Putting Your Work In the World

2011-12-22T11:00:00.001-05:00

Once you've created your piece - a painting, novel, or whatever form you use - all artists face the difficulty of finding an audience for it. Yes, we'd also like to be paid, but before we can even think of that we need to make it available for people to actually buy. There are a lot of people who do it for the love of it (art for art's sake). But most of us have to face that pesky question of audience at some point.

For writers, it was always difficult to get the work out there without the intermediaries of the publishing world - agents, editors, publishing houses and their marketing and distribution networks. The recent rise of new publishing forms has given writers a new power over the process. E-books, print on demand, self-publishing printed books... now literally anyone with the equivalent of a monkey's ability with a computer can "publish" a book. In many ways, this is a good thing. In rare cases, the "official" publishing world takes notice of a self-published title that sells particularly well and decides to jump in and see if they can make a little money with a proven winner.

And generally speaking, if it's not a success, it harms no one (except maybe the writer's ego). But still. It's hard to get anyone to notice. One writer I know calls it "publishing into the great yawn." Self-publishing in any form is a difficult endeavor - although you eliminate the publishing conglomerate, you are then responsible for all editing, design, marketing, distribution, sales... and few of us are great at every aspect of the process.

One author has lately become a byword for what not to do, and how many would-be authors make the mistake of assuming that because they've written something it is ready to be published. I won't go into the whole debacle here, but in short, there is a blogger who is kind enough to review "independent" works. He reviewed a particular book, and the author, shall we say, took exception to his review (although I haven't read the book in question, the review seemed generous; you'll see why if you go here and read about it).

At the very least, if you are going to put your work out there to be read, you have to be prepared for it to be reviewed. And you have to be prepared for people not to love everything about it. You have to be able to take constructive criticism. People like this writer are what make self-published authors in many eyes synonymous with bad writing and a total lack of professionalism. If you are going to publish, in any form, you have to be a professional about it, or you will not have that coveted audience for very long.

Creative Swim: "It's Not the Doing It, It's the Getting Myself to Do It"

2011-12-21T10:59:00.001-05:00

Here is a link to a great interview with editor, reviewer, and writer Robert Gottlieb from Salon.com: "From Editor to Writer."

Some of my favorite quotes:

"I never wanted to be a writer. I don't like writing -- it's so difficult to say what you mean. It's much easier to edit other people's writing and help them say what they mean."

"As I've told generations of writers who have writer's block, "Don't think about writing. Think about typing."'

"I don't want to be "creative." I love what I do, which is a service job. I've always said that I want my tombstone to read, "He got it done"...Get it done, whether it's writing the piece or doing the dishes: Do it. Don't sit around moping. On the other hand, I do sit around moping! When it comes to writing, I can't haul myself to the computer. I put it off all day. Usually around 11 at night, I drag myself over there and I say, "OK, I've got to type something." Then when I'm actually doing it, it's fine. It's not the doing it, it's the getting myself to do it."

He also has a lot of wonderful things to say from the editor's perspective, and he's worked with some of the most amazing writers of the last 50 years or so, and his insights are well worth reading.

Creative Swim: The Midnight Disease

2011-12-20T10:58:00.001-05:00

Lately I've been reading The Midnight Disease: The Drive to Write, Writer's Block, and the Creative Brain, by Alice W. Flaherty. She's a neurologist, so she comes at the topic from a biological perspective; she's also a writer, and one who has suffered from hypergraphia (the compulsive urge to write). She interweaves the scientific with the literary in discussing these topics, and the result is fascinating.

Most writers talk about "being visited by the muse" or "being blocked" as though these forces for inspiration or creative stifling come from outside themselves. Flaherty talks about the interactions between the various areas of the brain, particularly the temporal lobes and limbic systems, and how they affect our ability to communicate not just words but also meaning, emotion, and metaphor in writing. She discusses how mood disorders and various forms of mental illness affect creativity and our ability to communicate as well.

She writes to some extent about ways of overcoming challenges to writing, particularly blocks, but this isn't a self-help book. It's a look at the neurobiology of how and why we write, and it is heavy on the neurobiology - there were times when it felt a little slow - but it also blows a lot of myths and misconceptions out of the water, as well as discussing intriguing (and a little scary) new scientific advances that may allow humans to enhance their creativity at will. It's worth reading just to know what science can and can't explain about our urge to create via the written word.

Creative Swim: The Challenge of Unstructured Time

2011-12-19T10:57:00.001-05:00

I wrote in an earlier post that for most of us, the main association we have with time is a feeling of "not enough." There is never enough time to do all we need to do, never mind all we want to do (I suppose I could write a whole other post on how creativity can be a need but all too easily fall into the "want" category).

But what about the opposite challenge: having time, but not using it well? We usually feel so ridden by external deadlines and mandates that as soon as we get some unstructured time, we feel the need to celebrate by throwing off the shackles for some unfettered do nothing time. This is where the urge to be creatively productive can collide with the urge to be a sloth in front of the tv. I wrote before about finding a balance between these.

But what happens when we do find ourselves at the computer (or easel, or whatever) and our focus goes out the window? All of a sudden we are bombarded with all the other things we could be doing: washing dishes, reading a book, calling a friend... all can seem vitally important and infinitely preferable to the hard work facing us on the blank page.

One focusing technique that has emerged to help people focus and be productive is the Pomodoro Technique. (Pomodoro is the Italian word for tomato; the technique is so named because the originator lived in Italy and the time he came up with the idea, and his timer was shaped liked a tomato.) At its heart it's pretty simple:

write out a list of tasks
figure out how many "pomodoros" or 25-minute intervals it will likely take you to complete each task
set a timer to 25 minutes, and work straight through with no interruptions
take a 5-minute break
start again with the next pomodoro. After four pomodoros, take a 20-minute break.

If you read the entire handbook, available free from the website, you learn all the details of the technique, which frankly made my eyes glaze over since sometimes the calculations can seem like more work than the work you're trying to accomplish. But trying the technique at home and at work has not only helped me to focus better and get more work done, it's also taught me that a) I get a lot of interruptions at work, and b) I am not as good as I thought at calculating how long a task is likely to take.

I'll admit I haven't followed it religiously. If I'm really in the middle of something, then I might not take a break right at the 25 minute mark. But knowing the clock is ticking does help me focus and get less sidetracked by distractions. I also feel a sense of accomplishment at the number of pomodoros I rack up. I'm still experimenting to see what works best for me, but it seems to help structure my time in a way that doesn't feel too regimented. I can see some creatives scoffing, but telling yourself that you're going to work (or play) for four pomodoros sounds much less intimidating than two hours, yes?

If anyone has their own focusing techniques to share, please do so in the comments!

Creative Swim: A Cure for Block?

2011-12-18T10:56:00.000-05:00

A friend alerted me to this recent article in the New Yorker: Hollywood Shadows: a cure for blocked screenwriters.

Therapists Barry Michels and Phil Stutz have "developed a program designed to access the creative power of the unconscious and address complaints common among their clientele: writer’s block, stagefright, insecurity, the vagaries of the entertainment industry." Their methods may seem somewhat unorthodox, but they clearly work for a number of people. For example, they tell patients that instead of visualizing the most positive outcome, they should visualize "things going horribly wrong." This does make sense: if we bring to light our worst fears, they are no longer hiding in our subconscious, or semi-conscious, but are out there where we can deal with them. They no longer seem like the end of the world.

I particularly liked a quote from Stutz: “The risk you take has a feedback effect on the unconscious,” he says. “The unconscious will give you ideas and it wants you to act on them. The more courage you have when you act, the more ideas it will give you.” I'll discuss creative risk-taking in a later post because I feel it deserves more attention than I can give it here without making this post ridiculously long.

Michels is heavily influenced by Jung and his Shadow archetype. Again, it's all about bringing the Shadow aspects of ourselves to light, to begin to work with and appreciate our Shadow and the creative energy it embodies. Other works have been written on bringing the Shadow under conscious control, and maybe I'll write a longer post on that, too.

Procrastination (which I dealt with in my last entry) is one of the biggest problems faced by writers of all kinds. Michels explains it in terms of Jung's Father archetype, as an example of rebellion against authority. Time itself (Father Time) is the inexorable authority figure, and every time we procrastinate or waste time, we are defying him. Michels cure is simple: to sit down at the computer for a fixed length of time each day, no matter what. It's an act of surrender to the inevitable, and it can activate the creative energy that would otherwise be wasted in pointless rebellion (after all, time is passing, no matter how you spend it). This is different than how I've viewed it, but I can see how it might be a powerful concept.

If you're at all interested in these issues, I encourage you to read the full article. If nothing else, it will make you grateful you don't work in Hollywood. If you do, you have my sympathies.

Creative Swim: Creative Balancing

2011-12-17T10:54:00.002-05:00

Many of us feel we simply don't have enough time to do what we need to do, never mind what we want to do. And what seems to be the external directive to "be productive" at whatever cost has us racing to keep up with all those externally-mandated crises and deadlines.

Then there are the internal ones: these are often the creative ones. After all, unless we're already a paid author or artist, no one is banging down the door demanding our work. The deadlines become internalized, all in our own minds, and are no less demanding but never (or at least rarely) acknowledged outside our own heads.

Is it possible, though, to live our lives in such a way that we can do some of what we want to do, and some of what we need to do, and find a balance that works?

My trick is to allow myself the things that I know will sidetrack me and create overwhelming, time-sucking cravings if I don't attend to them. For example, if I haven't done any writing on a particular day, I will allow myself one hour of television or reading as a way to relax between work and writing. Then I turn it off or put it down, and go write. This works for me, because if I put tv or reading off as a reward until after writing, it would distract me the whole time I was writing. I would be focused on the reward, and not the activity. Also, I would be reinforcing writing as the undesirable activity I have to get through before I can "reward" myself. This way it doesn't become drudgery. I keep my goal in mind - to write my book - but also keep in mind that I need a little down time in order to turn to creative work with an open mind and heart.

This allows me to focus on and savor the down time. I don't feel guilty about watching tv or reading, because I'm not thinking I should be doing something else, like writing. I am fully engaged and appreciating what I'm doing right now. It's about choosing what I want to do in a given moment, and not feeling that my life is dominated by "shoulds."

Is your creative life dominated by "shoulds?" I should be making my art, I should be writing, etc.? When we view creativity as a "should" it drains us of energy and motivation. We want to rebel against it because it doesn't feel like a choice. And because our creative deadlines are internal, we can shirk them because no one notices but us.

But we do notice. We become filled with guilt and shame, which eat away at us until we associate the creative activity with those feelings. Sometimes we alleviate them with a little burst of activity, but no matter how good that feels, we can rarely keep it up for long. Why? Because our underlying attitude is still negatively focused. We aren't doing the activity because we love it, but because we fear the shame and guilt if we don't. It becomes a "should" again, thus perpetuating the vicious circle.

The solution begins with us: to view the time spent creating as precious time, something we want to do, we have to include it in our list as a rewarding activity. It's a major mind-shift for most of us, who tend to view creating as something we "want to want" to do. Keeping my overall goals in mind: do I want to write a book, or watch another hour of television/read another sixty pages of someone else's? helps me choose writing consciously as an activity I want to do. I don't drag my feet, grumbling and resentful that I haven't done anything to relax today.

The truth is, we often waste more time procrastinating doing things on our "should" list if we never feel we get to do anything on our "wanna" list. Then we binge on the "wanna" and don't really enjoy it.

What do you really want to do? Nothing is off-limits (well, keep it legal). Let yourself do what you really want to do, no matter how trashy or time-wasting you think it is. Give yourself a limit, and let yourself fully enjoy it without guilt or shame. Then see if you find the time and energy and desire to create. Does your attitude adjust? See if the balance sorts itself out without all the self-recrimination that can make creativity seem like a chore.

Creative Swim: Creativity and Ingenuity

2011-12-16T10:53:00.001-05:00

Most people who saw the film Up saw a sweet story about love and friendship and adventure. Apparently some scientists and engineers saw it and said, "I wonder if you could actually attach balloons to a house and have it fly?" What do you know, they tried it, and it worked. It will be shown later this year on the National Geographic Channel, but you can see photos and some video of the results at the Inside NGC blog. I love this because these guys are combining creative play with their engineering know-how and creating something with absolutely no commercial value whatsoever. At least, I don't think there's going to be a run on balloon-house travel anytime soon. Wouldn't it be awesome, though, to carry your house with you as you traveled? You'd be able to explore the world and still sleep in your own bed every night.

Creative Swim: Letter to Myself

2011-12-15T10:51:00.000-05:00

I just finished reading the book Dear Me: A Letter To My Sixteen-Year-Old Self. It's a collection of letters written by famous people to their younger selves. Contributors include Yoko Ono, Stephen Fry, Emma Thompson, Annie Lennox, Jackie Collins, Debbie Harry, Baz Luhrman, and Sir Elton John, among many others. Some of the letters are funny, and many are moving. Some are both. Of course, almost anyone reading these will immediately think, what would I write to myself at sixteen? What would my sixteen year old self think of me now? The book invites you to write your own letter, and post it at mydearmeletter.blogspot.com. These are actually more interesting than most of the famous peoples' letters, since people in the book, well, they've succeeded, haven't they? What about the rest of us, who haven't achieved that level of fame? Also, the blog letters are written by people who don't have a public persona to keep up. There's a lot less guardedness in their letters.

What would I say to myself at sixteen?

You're not going to get any taller. Get over it.
You will get thinner. Not thin, but you'll lose a lot of that extra weight when you stop dieting. By the time you're 35 or so, you'll realize that it's more about health than what you look like anyway. And you'll be really grateful that you're healthy.
You're about to embark on an incredible year in Japan. You'll have amazing experiences, you'll learn a lot about yourself, you'll really miss your friends - but don't bother going home in time for graduation. It's really boring and you'll remember why you were so anxious to leave high school in the first place.
This will be the beginning of a lot of really cool travel to all sorts of places. P.S. don't just stick the money you get out of the ATM machine at the Madrid airport in your pocket. Put it in your moneybelt, where it belongs.
You say you're not going to get married now, and you're right - you won't (at least as of this writing). You're fine with that, even though the culture still tells you you shouldn't be. Almost half of U.S. households consist of single people, so you're not some freakish tiny minority.
You won't have your first book published by 30. Or 40. Sorry. You will have your MFA though, and you'll have given up a lot of silly romantic ideas of what it means to be a writer.
You'll have a renewed appreciation for your family, and you'll have really amazing, wonderful friends who love you for who you are. In fact, some of the people who are your best friends now are still your friends 25 years later. Cool, eh?
Finally, stop perming your hair. Just, stop. The Little Orphan Annie look is not attractive. You're not ever going to have long, thick, curly hair, and processing it into frizz is not fooling anybody. You're welcome.

What would you say to yourself at sixteen? Write a letter in your journal, or post it on the Dear Me blog. It's a fun exercise. If you've kept them, go back to your journals from that age. All the drama! The angst! The humor! What seeds were sown then have blossomed now? Are there things you loved then that you'd like to bring back into your life?

Creative Swim: The Accidental Creator

2011-12-13T10:50:00.000-05:00

Here is an amazing article at The Good Men Project by writer Rachel Kadish about her cousin, Noam Galai. He took a photograph of himself one day... and that photo has launched a connection with people all over the world, who have appropriated it for everything from T shirts to protest posters. It's an incredible story, about how one person's creative act inspired so many others, the power of technology to spread images, and the power of a creative renaissance to spring from a simple photograph. Amid the social and political commentary one thing stood out to me: through the experience of having his photograph catapulted to iconic status without his knowledge, Noam Galai more readily identifies himself as a photographer, and as an artist. Through the power of creative connection, he can claim his own creative power. And it reminds us that we truly never know what small creative spark can start the fire that spreads far beyond us to let others bask in its glow, be warmed by its heat, and even add their own fuel to keep it going.

Creative Swim: Food and Creativity

2011-12-12T10:49:00.001-05:00

A friend recently returned from Japan, bearing all kinds of foods that are either very Japanese, or have a Japanese twist.

- white chocolate flavored with seaweed
- green tea mochi (pounded glutinized rice) filled with black sesame paste
- white mochi filled with green tea paste and cream
- Kit Kat bars with original flavorings, including plum and lemon pepper

Anyone who has been to Japan will recognize that they are nothing if not creative in terms of making foods their own. Pizza topped with tuna and corn and mayonnaise? Yup. There are a million examples, but the point is, the Japanese are known for being willing to take an imported concept and play with it until it works in their unique context. They don't just accept "the way it is."

What "rules" or received wisdom do you follow without question? When was the last time you created something different out of an old structure? It can be as simple as adding something new to a recipe. Mixing a poem in with prose. Collaging over a painting. Getting up on the other side of the bed.

For those interested in actually creating new versions of foods, there is an industry springing up to serve you. Ecreamery.com lets you create your own ice cream and gelato flavors. Chocri allows you to create your own types of chocolate bars, using a base of dark, white or milk chocolate and then mixing in toppings - caramel, fleur de sel, chocolate sizzle rocks, mango cubes... etc. All right, now I'm just making myself hungry. Time to go enjoy a plum-flavored Kit Kat.

Creative Swim: Believe

2011-12-11T10:46:00.002-05:00

Over the next week or so, I will be reposting some of the posts I originally wrote for my Creative Swim blog. Enjoy!

Last night I watched the documentary on British comedian Eddie Izzard's life, called Believe. It was not only fascinating in terms of seeing his particular journey, but also as a reminder of how long an "overnight success" can take. And how much tenacity, perseverance, and, yes, belief is required. I had no idea that when I saw him as part of the Hysteria 3 benefit concert 20 years ago (and what a shock to think it's been 20 years since I lived in England) that it was his first major exposure outside of the comedy club circuit. He'd been doing street performing and comedy gigs for ten years, but that three-minute gig was the beginning of his huge success. I remember being in the audience, laughing my ass off, and wondering (along with most everyone else): "Who is this guy? He's hilarious!" And no wonder he was so shocked when I met him a few years ago and told him how long I'd been a fan. He didn't start making it in the U.S. until ten years after that.

In the documentary, Eddie talks a lot about Belief and the role it plays in success. Before you can be a comedian, you have to believe you're a comedian. Before you can be an actor, you have to believe you can be an actor. Before you can be anything, really, especially in the arts where there are often long, slogging years before you see any sort of success, you have to believe that you are already what you want to be known as.

I see this, or its lack, in writers. It takes guts to say "I'm a writer" when you haven't published anything yet. But without this belief, it's easy to act like a wannabe. It's easy to say "I'll do it... someday" when you don't have the belief that your art is important. That you deserve to take your place as an artist. That you don't need permission from some outside force before you can call yourself an artist. No one can give you Belief. After years of no external markers of success (publication, a gallery show, a paid acting gig...) it can be hard to have that belief. Add to that the pressure of making a living (the "real" job), maintaining relationships with family and friends, raising children... and it's easy to see why belief in yourself as something as "selfish" as being an artist is difficult. But if you don't take yourself seriously as an artist, who will?

But all this is not to say that it doesn't also involve a lot of hard work. That's another thing that was abundantly clear from the documentary. Eddie is a hustler, in the best sense. He created a lot of his own opportunities. I'm sure he got depressed that things weren't going as quickly as he'd hoped, but he never gave up, never stopped trying new ways of putting himself out there. For example, when he wasn't getting the gigs he wanted, he started a comedy club. He emceed and performed in it. And because it wasn't making much money, he did other gigs at outside venues to pay the rent at his venue. And sure enough, with all this activity, he got noticed. He was invited to do the Hysteria 3 gig, which was his big break. Now that's hustle.

And he also never played the part of "The Comedian." You know what I mean. We all know Artists who do little more than talk about their art. They talk about it constantly, they take a class now and then, they attend a conference, they're never seen without some emblem of their art with them - sheet music, or a notebook, etc. - but they never seem to actually produce much. None of these things are bad in and of themselves, but these people never settle down to do the work. Actors who never audition but are constantly working on their monologue, painters who only sketch, writers who read lots of books on writing but never tackle that novel... we've all seen them. Sometimes we've been them. We convince ourselves we're doing something Important but all we're doing is spinning our wheels.

So: we have to Believe, and then we have to Do The Work. Often the two lead to each other. You have to have enough belief to start, and then do enough work to create a little bit of success to reinforce the belief. Then do more work... but ultimately, until you Believe you can, you won't.

Bear news and Holiday Frenzy

2011-12-10T10:39:00.000-05:00

Honey joined Lucky in his den this year... the first time they've denned together in three years. According to the NABC team, she is being her usual ornery self - clacking her jaws in irritation while Lucky whines and tries to avoid her in the cramped den space. Neither has left, however. And it has to be tight in there since Lucky is now an adult. They are putting in a den cam to try to see what will happen over the winter.

I've been swamped with paying-job work as well as the usual holiday stuff... cards, the buying and wrapping of presents, baking... the party season has started as well. I am still hoping to get a photo book together from my NZ trip. All of which means my other writing has taken a year-end vacation, which makes me cranky. Remembering to keep a balance - to write a little each day, even if it's half what I would do in a less-busy season - is crucial. I keep trying to do a Tomato or two of work, but my Tomatoes tend to slide into each other and not fit into neat 25-minute segments. (I wrote about Tomatoes - i.e. the Pomodoro Technique - on my now-defunct but still posted Creative Swim blog. I had to abandon it because I can barely keep up with one blog, never mind two. I suppose I should re-post the posts from Creative Swim here, so I can keep it all together.) Truth to tell, I've been flailing in my latest book. But I have enough experience to know the only way out is through. It's like jumping into a cold lake - you've just got to do it; it's not going to get any warmer while you're just standing there, and you might end up talking yourself out of doing it at all.

I did manage to see the Muppet movie, and loved it. A real nostalgia trip. I think they did a good job of preserving the innocence and the humor, while also throwing some sly jokes directly aimed at the Gen-X nostalgia crowd who were kids when the Muppet Show was on and the first movies came out. It's a movie you can take your kids to that lacks the cynicism and snarkiness that's so popular today, and that will also take you back to your own childhood. And it is laugh-out-loud funny. What more can you ask for in a holiday de-stresser?

Your Perfect Book

2011-11-21T08:44:00.000-05:00

Do you have a "perfect book?" One that really hit you the first time you read it, and that you can read over and over again, and not want to change a thing? One of the first books I read that fit this criteria was Susan Cooper's The Dark Is Rising. I first read it when I was 9 or 10, and it still stays with me as the perfect blend of gothic creepiness, and fantasy mystery/adventure. Even the title gives you that sense of dread and suspense. The endless snow, the ravens, the Rider, the way that time moves back and forth, the search for the signs... the story is propelled forward by that sense of urgency and growing dread, even as the hero is coming to grips with who he is and trying to figure out what's going on. I didn't see the movie version because it got terrible reviews, and the author herself hated it (as I heard her say at an SCBWI conference) and it didn't look or sound good to me at all. They took a perfect story and tried to jazz it up with all sorts of CGI, as well as changing several central elements... basically an author's worst nightmare of what will happen once Hollywood gets a hold of your book. It still stands on its own to me as a "perfect book" and one that could have been adapted to the screen without a lot of changes. If I could write a book like that...

What's your "perfect book?"

Rogue Sightings of Hobbits in Middle Earth

2011-11-20T12:06:00.000-05:00

From The Marlborough Express: "Rogue Sightings of Hobbits." Actually, they may be dwarves. Unless the actors are sporting their furry feet ("two hobbits walked into a bar...") I don't know how you'd be able to tell they were "hobbity." And really, once Bilbo leaves the Shire, there aren't any more hobbits until he returns. So, at least in theory, all hobbits should be in Hobbiton in Matamata, far away in the middle of the North Island (Marlborough is in the northern part of the South Island). But still, the very fact this made the papers tells you that the filming is a big deal there.

I'm looking forward to the dwarves' visit to Elrond in Rivendell. Watching Elrond trying to contend with a bunch of cantankerous dwarves. reminding himself, "Patience... I am Elrond, the wise and just... and, oh, just get these bloody dwarves out of here already!" Contrasting this with Thranduil in Mirkwood, who, when the dwarves won't state their business, promptly throws them in prison. Since they're bringing in Legolas, I'm wondering where he'll be in all this? Will he be for the imprisonment? Or will he think they should just send the dwarves on their way, who cares why they've come? It seems they are going to expand the Mirkwood section quite a bit, introducing a female elf who is doing who nkows what as well as Legolas, who wasn't in the book. Speaking of Mirkwood, you'd think Gandalf would've given the dwarves and Bilbo a little more warning before shooting off to deal with the Necromancer. He says "stay on the path," but doesn't really mention giant spiders, enchanted rivers, and suspicious elves. Fortunately for everybody, Bilbo really isn't as clueless as he seems. Hm... I can't wait for December of next year!

In the meantime, you can watch this great "noir" version of LOTR, featuring Humphrey Bogart as Frodo. I also love the hotel Moria, Godzilla as the Balrog, and the guy who plays Gollum - perfect! (Thanks to the Flying Moose of Nargothrond)

Once again...

2011-11-16T22:27:00.001-05:00

... there's an article trumpeting the popularity of YA novels as "crossover" fare, that appeals to adults (read: women) as well as teens. This isn't news, and hasn't been for a while now, but every so often some reporter decides it's worth trotting out again - yep, YA is still popular. Many pinpoint it to the publication of Twilight (I just wrote "twitlight" which I suppose unconsciously betrays my feelings about the series). I think it started earlier, with the Harry Potter series, which became tremendously popular with adults as well as children of all ages, though it was initially geared to middle-grade readers.

I don't know as I agree with the article's assessment that it's some sort of egocentricity that is the secret appeal of YA, or even with M.T. Anderson's idea that it's because Gen X has trouble "coming to grips with being adults." I think the reason for the popularity of YA is more simple: people of all ages love a good story, and YA writers (or writers for kids in general) are trained to be storytellers above all. You can't hold a kid's attention with gorgeous language alone, or the "look at my literary achievement - I'm a serious writer" tone of so many "adult" books. Yes, I read serous literature for beautiful language, great ideas, and insights into humanity, but let's face it, those truly great books are few. And yes, there are great storytellers among adult so-called genre writers, but the fact remains: there are some really good YA novels out there, with interesting themes, ideas, and characters, that deal with big issues, some in a very complicated way.

I hate the assumption that YA is somehow "dumbed down" adult literature. Like any genre, some of it is very good, and some of it is very bad - and a lot of it is much better and more original than commercial "adult" books. Adults are discovering that the scope of YA has expanded beyond what was available to us in high school, and that there are some great books out there that yes, do take us away from our adult problems and responsibilities for a little while. Nothing wrong with that.

A Case for the Picture Book

2011-11-02T20:40:00.002-04:00

I read a wonderful analysis of what's really ailing the picture book market in School Library Journal. I don't write them but I have a great appreciation for the form, and I think the author of this article has made some good points. So, picture book fans and writers, do you agree? I'm all for story, and I think this whole new "rule" of extremely short text is, well, short-sighted. There is room for more complex story in picture books, not just the beauty of language (or a cute gimmick). But there are a few points she doesn't make that I will add:

1. Picture books are extremely expensive to produce. At every conference I've been to, that point gets hammered home. They have to sell extremely well to break even, and if there is a perception (and reality) that they aren't selling well as a genre, then there will be very little risk-taking on the part of the publishing houses. Of course, what starts every mega-trend is someone taking a risk on something that is different - and then it becomes the "new" Big Thing.

2. Parents (and other picture book buyers) tend to buy the books they loved as children, hence the emphasis on classics, especially at picture-book or early-MG level. Only once kids start picking out (and later buying) their own books do you see more of a trend toward the new. I don'thave a problem with this, per se - passing down cherished classics is a wonderful way to bond and carry on traditions. I love that my mother gave me books like Little Women, The Secret Garden, and the Nancy Drew and Bobbsey Twins books when I was young. But kids - and young adults - will tend to gravitate toward the new and different when on thier own, generally speaking.

3. With less emphasis on text and story, picture books are more limited in their target age range. Once kids are ready to graduate to more complex stories and characters, they will go to chapter books since there is no longer much picture book middle ground between books for the very young and the slightly older kids who are ready for more meat on a book's bones, as it were.

Report on The Hobbit!

2011-10-31T23:26:00.000-04:00

Not from me, since, sadly, I don't have a personal invitation from Peter Jackson to visit the set (although that would be great, wouldn't it?) but from Quint at Ain't It Cool News - he's doing reports from the set for the next few weeks. It's strange to think I was on that Hobbiton set right before it closed to the public. No actual hobbits there, though...

Back from NZ...

2011-10-30T13:58:00.000-04:00

... where I've gone from cherry blossoms in springtime to snow here. It's still a mixed bag in both places, though - I had rain/sleet/snow/floods in NZ and there are still green leaves on the trees here. Right now I'm focusing on getting my body back in sync with Eastern time, so when I go back to work tomorrow I won't fall asleep at my desk. I'm afraid to look at my email inbox at this point. It will, by far, be the scariest thing about Halloween... the Inbox Monster. Maybe that will be my costume - I'll just print out lots of emails and tape them to me so they cover me head to foot. Then I will chant a Borg-like "Resistance is futile" while making stiff-legged zombie steps toward unsuspecting people. Terrifying, I think you'll agree.

NZ as a whole is too overwhelming to wrap my head around at this point. Going through my photos, I see that I've mostly taken pictures of lakes, mountains, and rivers. Good thing I make a habit of writing them down in my travel journal each night, or they would be as indistinguishable as all the shots of temples I took in Egypt. I took a fair amount of LOTR site photos too - anywhere I happened to be passing by. Lots of places are only accessible by long unpaved roads or helicopters, the former a no-no for my rental car and the latter too expensive to indulge in. What amazed me was the level of perfectionism Peter Jackson had. I would have been all, "let's film from this side of the river, and then turn around and film from the other one," whereas he was, "let's find a completely different river in a different part of the country for the reaction shot to this shot," taking 400 (or however many) cast and crew along to do so. The scale of the three movies becomes mind-boggling at that level. Now there are only two Hobbit movies, and much more is apparently being done on a set in Wellington, versus traveling all over the country to get the exact patch of beech woods for a particular scene. Although they've probably already found Mirkwood, I'd like to put in a pitch for the Garden of Tane in Akaroa. They want dark, with limbs twisting overhead to form an eerie-looking tunnel? In spades, with different types of trees in different areas creating different parts of Mirkwood. I think being a location scout would be very cool. Maybe next time...

Catch-Up Time....

2011-09-26T22:54:00.000-04:00

I've been very neglectful of my blogs lately... too busy planning my trip to NZ! I'm finally getting excited about going because it finally seems real.

And the Sox are kindly doing everything they can to stay out of the World Series so I don't miss them while I'm gone... isn't that nice? Except for Ellsbury. He hit 3 home runs yesterday. Clearly doesn't care about me at all, only wants his team in the playoffs.

Some sad news from the NABC... it appears likely that Hope was killed by a hunter at a bait trap. Lily and Faith are still alive and well, but obviously Hope's saga has meant a lot to a lot of people, and it's been difficult to figure out exactly what happened. But - that is a bear's life. For all the schoolchildren who were following her, it's a hard lesson, but an important one. She touched a lot of people, and helped them learn more about bears, so from a human perpsective, her life had "meaning."

I'm off on Wednesday, so my updates may be very brief and sporadic - or maybe I'll have time to do a sort of travel blog. We'll see!

New Bear Videos

2011-09-11T11:14:00.000-04:00

I've never seen a bear do a somersault before, but you can in this video where Lucky plays with a carpet tube: http://youtu.be/XjHJiHO6onE

Here he takes a bath: http://youtu.be/Kwn80f5vkQk

There are lots of videos from the NABC on their YouTube channel, from throughout the spring and summer.

Moose on the Loose...

2011-09-08T15:33:00.000-04:00

Ya gotta watch those moose and fermented apples, I swear.

"Honestly, officer, I only had ONE. Maybe two..."

http://www.boston.com/news/odd/articles/2011/09/08/seemingly_drunk_swedish_moose_found_stuck_in_tree/?p1=Well_MostPop_Emailed3_HP

Suspense vs. Surprise

2011-08-15T18:10:00.000-04:00

It's been a long time since I've done a writerly post, but I read Jane Espenson's weekly article on last week's Torchwood episode on afterelton.com and this phrase struck me: "Russell T Davies will almost always choose suspense – it's stronger and longer lasting than surprise. Newer writers often go for surprise, valuing the shock."

I've been interested in her analyses of the episodes, those she didn't write as well as the ones she did. {spoilers ahead}

I found this episode somewhat problematic, since what creates the suspense is that the audience knows more than the characters do at this point - which can make the characters seem clueless for the sake of plot. In the scenes with Esther and Rex in the camp, I thought, "these are two trained ex-CIA agents?" I mean, I know Esther is supposed to just be an analyst, and inexperienced, but at this point wouldn't she be starting to get a clue that THESE PEOPLE ARE DANGEROUS? And she even gave them her real name to work there? She finally kicks butt, so I thought, well, she's had physical training, at least. But I would've made sure that guy wasn't gonna move before I went to get the keys off him - knowing he can't actually die and all. Even Rex - come on, even if you didn't know the guy killed Vera, he's the head of the facility. You really think he doesn't know what's going on there? Just like Vera, Rex gives the whole game away when his first priority should be getting the hell out of there.

All in all, it didn't feel like we learned anything new in this episode, except that there's something really, really bad in China connected with the miracle. And oh, those guys who kept trying and failing to kill Jack, now have engineered a way to get Gwen to bring him to them. Which sets us up for what should be a really good episode next week.

I haven't been blogging about True Blood this season, because there's just way too much going on, and some of it I'm interested in, and some of it I'm not. I love Marnie/Antonia. The devil baby storyline looks like it's going somewhere interesting. Ditto Jessica/Jason. I know a lot of fans have been waiting for the Eric/Sookie hookup, but so far it seems... oddly dull. I just don't think those two have any chemistry. They're pretty and all, but - no heat. Maybe it's just because Eric is little lost baby vampire Eric (who actually showed his vampire side when he yanked that witch's heart out) who is all sweet and cuddly. He's such a puppy Marnie was actually petting him at the end of the episode. Now he's even more enspelled. I'm liking the whole witches vs. vamps thing - it's not the traditional good vs. evil but allows for all kind of interesting shades of gray.

When Bears Attack

2011-08-09T12:33:00.000-04:00

I saw this video and had to share.... mainly because it's the visual of what's happening when I describe my main character's interactions with bear cubs.

(Note: obviously since the cub is wearing some kind of collar, he's used to humans. Cubs don't usually run up and want to play with people!)

Reading Retreats

2011-07-12T17:28:00.000-04:00

Over on Salon, Laura Miller posted an article about "reading retreats," an idea that intrigues me. I'd never heard of it, or thought to go on a reading retreat, since I feel like I pretty much get to read whenever I want to. Reading is what I do when I'm not writing, so I'm more likely to go a a writing retreat that a reading one.

The problem with going on either type of retreat is that when I'm away, I don't like to sit inside reading or writing if the weather is good. I prefer to explore. Not that one can be out all the time, but if I'm in a new area, I tend to try to pack in as much as I can. Her idea of going somewhere in the fall, when the weather is cool and possibly rainy and thus conducive to long days indoors (with, I say, a possible refreshing long walk outside) is a good one.

She mentions Reading Retreats With Living Architecture in England, where a "bibliotherapist" (as Dave Barry would say, I'm not making this up) consults with you pre-trip to put together your perfect reading list. Then you go off to some lovely architecturally interesting house, and read.

There's one in Bulgaria that sounds delightful (and excursions can be arranged) where a group reads classic books and discusses them. This one also offers general retreats, and digital media retreats, all at really reasonable prices. There's a similar retreat at Castello de Galeazza, in Italy.

Of course, you don't need to go abroad, or have a bibliotherapist select your books for you. You can create your own reading retreat (or writing retreat, or a combination of both) anywhere, anytime. For me, the Cape or the Adirondacks or Maine would be perfect places to combine a bit of wandering around in nature with reading and writing. At this point in my life, all my extra time and income are spent on more exotic travel, but I could see myself indulging in a different sort of vacation in the future. I'll add it to my list...

My Apologies...

2011-07-05T16:42:00.000-04:00

It's been a really long tie since I last posted, for which I apologize. In my defense, I've had a lot going on. A 2-week trip to the west coast - to visit family and attend a conference; the MFA residency; and I've actually been doing writing - revising of old stuff, revising of first draft stuff, and some brand-new stuff. So I haven't been neglecting things here on purpose, I have just had lots of other things going on.

And tonight I'm going to a Red Sox game, which I'm very excited about.

So, I will try to write more often. No promises, though. I find that I have to conserve my time a little more if I'm going to get "real" writing done. I gave a seminar on this at this past residency, on maintaining community post-MFA. In it I included professional development activities, such as blogging. There are a lot of great communities, online and in person, to get involved in, plus blogging, writing reviews, etc. All this can help make you feel connected to the writing world, which is all well and good, but if it takes the place of actual writing, then it's a problem. Yes, it is important, but not as important as the writing. Everyone has to decide what makes sense for them, what they can do and get involved in and still maintain a balance. Right now my blogging is suffering, but as long as the writing is moving along, that's what's important.

My Bear Family

2011-06-08T15:05:00.000-04:00

For those of you who get the National Geographic Wild channel, the debut of My Bear Family, a series about Dr. Lynn Rogers and his work with Lily and Hope (and other bears) is tonight at 8:00, with another episode at 9:00 and the next at 10:00. Yup, 3 hours of bear watching. Guess I know what I'll be doing tonight!

When Mama Ain't Happy...

2011-05-21T10:44:00.000-04:00

Ain't Nobody Happy. This fantastic video taken by one of the researchers at the NABC shows June, mother of Lily, grandmother or Hope and Faith, telling them that although they are welcome in part of her territory (which she ceded to Lily as a yearling) this is not that part. Note how she bluff charges the researcher with the camera a couple of minutes in, and then later comes over to sniff the camera once she calms down. You see some great communicative behavior here - scent-marking trees and bushes, and stamping. Note the surprisingly narrow branch Lily chooses to sit on while waiting for Mom to make her point and leave (Hope and Faith are also up in the trees - nobody wants to mess with June). June, by the way, is the bear in the photo to the right.

Jason Update...

2011-05-16T22:57:00.000-04:00

... and sorry about the delays in updates overall. It seems blogger was down and has lost a couple of posts...

The official report came back on Jason, and it seems his death was actually the result of an infection caused by a bite wound to the head. You can read about it here. They don't think Hope did it during rough play; perhaps a predator came by while the bigger bears (Lily and Hope) were further away? Anyway, Lily, Hope, and Faith seem to be getting along well and remaining healthy, so that's good news!

In other good news, the Red Sox have finally hit .500! And even sweeter, it was due to sweeping the Yankees - at Yankee Stadium!

Feisty Faith

2011-04-25T18:37:00.000-04:00

The pathologist's preliminary report indicated that one of Jason's knees was very swollen, which likely hampered his ability to keep up with Lily, Hope, and Faith. He also had a number of bruises, although they won't know the exact cause of death for a while.

Anyway, Faith is doing well and getting stronger every day. Her latest tree-climbing adventure was posted on YouTube:

2011-04-22T18:00:00.000-04:00

I have to say, I'm really loving Adele's album 21. It's on heavy rotation on my Ipod, and it's one of the few albums I've bought lately that I fall more in love with the more I hear it. I wasn't as impressed with her first album, but you can tell she really worked on her songwriting in the meantime. If you haven't heard her yet, here's a link to the video for Rolling in the Deep, her current single. She has an amazing, soulful voice.

I'm bummed her Boston concert is sold out. Sigh.

2011-04-20T14:20:00.000-04:00

Many of you may have heard of the controversy that has erupted in the last week or so over Greg Mortenson, his books Three Cups of Tea and Stones Into Schools, and the Central Asia Institute (CAI). Many people were inspired by the books, and attended Greg Mortenson's readings, and contributed to CAI in the belief that the money was really going to build schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan. Now, according to a 60 Minutes report and a long article by Jon Krakauer (available at www.byliner.com), it seems that not only did Mortenson fabricate many incidents of his story, much of the money has either been used for his personal expenses or just disappeared.

If it's true, it's not only sad but criminal. And the evidence seems to be pretty solid. Mortenson himself declined to answer questions from either 60 Minutes or Krakauer, and instead gave a rather vague answer in an interview to Outside magazine that indicated some of the details might have gotten mixed up in his story. People are trying to defend him on the grounds that basically lying isn't that big of a deal (look at James Frey) and it was in the cause of the greater good, so we should just give the guy a break. These people are so, so wrong:

1) He has lied not only about what happened and when, but also about how many schools CAI has built, and how many children are being educated in them. James Frey lied about personal experiences (and I still think it was wrong), but ultimately no one was hurt but him. Mortenson's lies are likely to hurt the children he was purportedly helping, relationships in the areas where CAI works, and the faith of the public to believe in organizations or individuals who claim to do good.

2) They tend to gloss over the financial accountability aspect of the story. We're talking millions of dollars here that is currently unaccounted for. That's not just lax accounting. What little oversight there has been sounds laughable. I assume the IRS will be investigating, and I don't think Mortensen will be able to get by with "details aren't my thing," or "it's someone else's fault."

People might be inclined to think it's some personal vendetta Krakauer is pursuing against Mortenson, but I really didn't get that impression (and if so, a lot of former CAI employees are right there with him). And then there is the 60 Minutes segment. There is a lot of evidence against him. I encourage you to read Krakauer's article, or watch the 60 Minutes video, and make up your own mind. If Mortenson ever comes forward with his own side of the story that contains plausible counter-evidence, I'll be interested in hearing it.

Read Warning Carefully Before Proceeding!

2011-04-16T18:33:00.002-04:00

You just know a team of lawyers for each company got together and racked their brains trying to come up with all possible ways the company might get sued by idiots using their products incorrectly. Pretty hilarious for the rest of us.

Remember, just because your product says "Apple," it doesn't mean it's edible.

http://www.womansday.com/Articles/Life/11-Funny-Fine-Print-Warnings.html

In completely unrelated news (although it might be related in the sense of "completely useless prohibitions"), the Chinese will forever remain unenlightened by the time travel possibilities seen in Dr. Who and Torchwood. Just as well. You know, best not to expose them to rifts, vortexes, and all that. They have a lot of history that could get hopelessly screwed up. "China Bans Time Travel on the Tube".

Heroic Scoundrels?

2011-04-15T18:07:00.000-04:00

Captain Jack Harkness made the list of top heroic scoundrels in USA Today, coming in after Han Solo and Captain Jack Sparrow (note to authors: if you have a scoundrelly character, the name "Captain Jack" has been taken. Twice. So find some other scoundrelly name). "Harkness hates himself more than anyone else ever could, and it makes you love him more." How true, and the main reason, I think, that when the dying Ianto said "I love you," he responded with "Don't."

What a marvelous piece of storytelling, incidentally - after teasing us with three episodes of a seemingly deepening relationship between the two, the writers not only kill of Ianto but refuse the audience any closure over his death, circumventing expectations even at this ultimate moment. I don't believe Jack doesn't love Ianto - but I do believe his self-hatred won out in his rejection of Ianto's love. One reason I love this series is that the writers allow the relationships to be complicated and messy. Jack loves Gwen, too, but it's clear he also basks in her hero-worship, and doesn't actually want her to get that close (I don't believe for a minute he couldn't have seduced her away from Rhys if he'd really wanted to).

I'm looking forward to seeing what they do with the fourth series. It could be better than ever, or it could be a disaster. I'm willing to hope for the former.

Even Sadder News

2011-04-14T07:06:00.000-04:00

Little Jason, one of Lily's cubs from this January's litter, died Tuesday. They don't know why; the researchers at the NABC have taken the body for autopsy. He was always the weaker cub, and Lily left him behind when he grew too weak to travel (they're all out of the den now). The researchers' mandate and permit allow them to observe, but not interfere. The good news is that Faith, the other cub, is apparently fine. Here she is under a white pine tree:

Life's tough for a bear cub in the wild. Let's hope she makes it!

What Happened?

2011-04-13T18:59:00.001-04:00

It's a sad, sad day... the Red Sox are officially the worst team in baseball. In an ironic twist, the only team they can seem to win against is the Yankees. Is this officially the worst start in the history of baseball? No, I don't want to know. Guys, don't make me come down there.

Opening Day!

2011-04-08T10:34:00.000-04:00

It's Opening Day at Fenway today. It's the 100th Opening Day, in fact. A Big Deal. And it's against the Yankees. So... let's hope they can win it. Win something. Because 0-6 to start the season is bad. Not catastrophic, but if this is any indication of the way they're playing their away games, it's going to be a brutal season. They've always been better at home, so let's hope that holds up.

Wish I was there... afternoon game, weather sunny and in the 50's... sigh.

Faith and Jason

2011-03-28T19:40:00.001-04:00

Here are a couple of photos of Lily's cubs Faith and Hope from Lily's facebook page. The first is a good shot of both of them in the den; the other is one of them up a tree (I think it's Faith). They are maturing right on schedule and Hope is being a good big sister, playing with them and helping to care for them. I wonder if she'll leave the family on schedule in June, or stick around? Will Lily make her leave? This should be an interesting spring/summer.

Knut Is Dead

2011-03-21T13:02:00.000-04:00

Some of you may remember that I posted a while back on a couple of orphaned baby polar bears being raised in zoos in Germany. Well, one of them, Knut, recently died. They don't know the cause. He was only four, which is very young for a bear. More news on his death, as well as an image gallery of his life can be found here.

Cute enough to make you want to cuddle him and take him home, eh? Until you realize he's going to grow up to be a 440 lb. carnivorous bear who will not only eat you out of house and home but actually eat you, period. Still, polar bears (in their proper environment) are magnificent creatures, and it will truly be a loss for the world if they become extinct.

Can You Blurb This Book?

2011-03-15T18:54:00.002-04:00

Okay, I think I'll have to get this one. Hilarious excerpts from Your Wildest Dreams Within Reason, by Mike Sacks, here.

Oh, to be a sought-after, famous writer...

2011-03-14T17:10:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted yet about the earthquake/tsunami in Japan, partly because I'm still in shock looking at the footage. I lived in Japan for about 3 years, one of them in Yamagata, just 45 miles from Sendai. I'm glad that all of my friends in Japan are safe, but my heart goes out to all those whose families, friends, and homes were swept away in an instant. Here is a link to footage being shown on Japanese tv. It shows better than anything I've seen the speed and unbelievable strength of the tsunami. What really brought the scale of it home to me was realizing that if something similar happened here, my house would be oceanfront property. I can't imagine everything between and me and the current shoreline just... gone.

The Ghosts of Fenway?

2011-03-13T18:37:00.000-04:00

This is actually a pretty good idea... there's gotta be a few ghosts rattling around Fenway after all these years, right? It would be a pretty eerie place after dark, anyway. "Fenway Park: Challenges to "Ghost Hunters" and "Ghost Adventures."

Baseball and Chocolate? I Am So There!

2011-03-09T21:09:00.000-05:00

As if I needed a reason to want to go to Fort Myers to see Red Sox spring training, there's an artisanal chocolate shop that's right next to their training center. Now I've really gotta go there. I don't know if I'll make it this spring, though.

Not that I need to go someplace else to get chocolate. Just when the Valentine's Day wave of chocolate in the office has receded, a colleague brought back chocolate from Japan, someone else brought in more Girl Scout cookies, there are other cookies and chocolate wafers lurking there as well... and I made peanut butter chocolate chip cookies last weekend, which are my absolute favorite, which is why I make them about once every five years. I have no control where they are concerned. Even putting them in the freezer, if I'm not careful I can consume a half dozen in one day.

2011-03-03T19:18:00.001-05:00

The Guardian has a great interview with Philip Pullman, answering questions put to him by kids who've read his works. They're a lot better than some questions asked by adult interviewers. I don't always agree with everything he says, but one thing is for sure: he doesn't talk down to kids. He writes complex works with big themes, and he doesn't seem to worry that kids won't "get it." I came to his books as an adult, but I think they have that rare quality that you could read them as a young child and get "story" out of it, and then re-read them at an older age and get more subtle, deeper things out of it.

The interview is part of a new section devoted to children's books on www.guardian.co.uk. It's actually designed and developed by kids. Take a look, it's pretty cool: http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/childrens-books .

Say Hello to My New Career

2011-03-02T22:04:00.000-05:00

This is very cool, an article from boston.com about a woman who pitches batting practice for the majors. She's trying to start a women's league as well. It's true, there are a lot of women fans, and more and more girls want to do baseball rather than switch to softball. I also learned something new: It never occurred to me that batting practice was pitched by anybody other than the pitchers.

In Red Sox news this week, Josh Beckett got hit in the head during batting practice (he was standing in left field). Although he had a mild concussion, Manager Terry Francona wasn't too concerned: "At least it didn't hit him anywhere important, like his shoulder." Love it.

2011-02-25T17:20:00.000-05:00

From Publisher's Weekly: Five finalists have been named for the Los Angeles Times Book Prize for Young Adult Literature. They are: Marc Aronson and Marina Budhos, for Sugar Changed the World: A Story of Magic, Spice, Slavery, Freedom and Science; Stephanie Hemphill, for Wicked Girls: A Novel of the Salem Witch Trials; Jonathan Stroud for The Ring of Solomon; Megan Whalen Turner for A Conspiracy of Kings; and Rick Yancey, for The Curse of the Wendigo.

I haven't read any of the books yet - but I am a big fan of Megan Whalen Turner and Jonathan Stroud. Gotta go get some books...

Welcome To My New Venture!

2011-02-24T17:56:00.000-05:00

I have started a new blog called Creative Swim. It's devoted to musings on creativity, art, writing, inspiration, and play. The idea is that people will be able to come and dip their toes in, as it were, for any and all sorts of goodies to intrigue and inspire. I aim to post there at least once per week, so come by and bring your bathing suit (or not - skinnydipping is encouraged). Feel free to send me ideas on things to post about, or links to cool creative things people are doing. It will be evolving for a while.

I still plan to keep this is as my personal blog, at least for now, focused mainly on my own writing and research, children's literature in general, and other topics - you know, bears, baseball (spring training has started! whoo-hoo!), chocolate, books, and other things I like. It may be unwieldy to juggle two blogs, but they will be distinct enough to warrant being separate. It's all an experiment, but I invite you to follow along!

Kids Say the Darndest Things

2011-02-23T19:08:00.000-05:00

I actually hate that old show, that condescending "aww, aren't they cute" vibe. Kids are actually smarter than adults give them credit for. And they're at their best before they've absorbed the all the social rules that tell them what they can and can't say, think, or do. Case in point: while sitting on the bus this morning, I overheard a conversation between some kids at the back of the bus who sounded about 6-8 years old. Some snippets stuck in my mind, as in:

"There are two kinds of fondue, cheese and chocolate."

"I don't like peanut butter. I like peanut butter and chocolate, but not just peanut butter... it has to be good."

"I like bittersweet chocolate. Really bittersweet. My favorite is Cote d'Ivoire."

Now, if you put this dialogue in a book intended for 6-8 year-olds, it would immediately be deemed "too old" and "not realistic." They sounded more like a bunch of sophisticated experts on the Food Network, but in a totally unself-conscious way. Boys and girls. Yeah, the parents were there. They were exchanging numbers and talking about play dates. Guess whose conversation I wanted to join?

On a totally unrelated note, I have a couple of new blogs in the list: Writer Unboxed and SheWrites.com. Check them out if you're a writer. There's so much good stuff out there these days it's easy to just surf other writer's cool blog and websites and never get around to any writing myself.

Hope, Faith, and... Jason?

2011-02-22T22:00:00.000-05:00

In honor of their first month in the world, Lily's new cubs have been named. They are...

Faith and Jason.

So now we have Hope (one year) and Faith, and Jason.

Part of my bemusement may be due to the fact that the only Jason I'm currently up with is Jason Stackhouse, and that does not put a good picture on my mind. I think there is some reason why they picked these names - people were voting - but since I generally ignore online voting stuff I had no say.

Maybe the next time Lily has cubs we can morph into True Blood Territory. If Jason has a little sister, she has to be Sookie, right? And wouldn't Sookie be a cute name for a bear? I think so.

An Excellent Response to Martin Amis

2011-02-17T20:41:00.000-05:00

British author Martin Amis recently created some controversy (he's good at opening his mouth and creating controversy) by giving an interview that got quite a few writers who write for young people in a twist. I read the interview and dismissed it, because a) he likes to get attention for his opinions and b) he clearly doesn't know what he's talking about. In other words, who cares what he thinks?

But a very good rebuttal was posted on the Huffington Post, and it is in fact a great rebuttal to the endless question that writers often get asked: why do you write for children? I wonder if pediatricians get asked why they treat children as opposed to adults - I mean, they have to go through the same medical training, just as writers have to learn their business in writing effective prose. I would imagine a good pediatrician needs some special skills in relating to children, just as a writer does. I don't know - sometimes it seems any field related to children, and its practitioners, get denigrated in our culture, despite our supposed glorification of "family values." I could go on a long rant, but I won't.

In fairness, I will also post a link to Amis' original Guardian interview . He's sort of famous for being an enfant terrible and a curmudgeon (at the same time) so why anyone should be surprised at his remarks is beyond me. I imagine he is in fact enjoying all the attention. I think he and Phillip Pullman should get into it - I'd love to see those two engaging in a discussion like this. Unless Pullman qualifies as "brain damaged" for writing a fantasy trilogy inspired by Milton's Paradise Lost (ignore the movie version, please).

I Think This Cat Needs an Intervention

2011-02-16T17:11:00.003-05:00

You may have seen this already - the cat burglar who's actually a cat. Hilarious. I'm surprised the neighbors are so cool with it, although I guess as long as they know where to go to get their stuff back... still, why only at night? Why does he do it at all? What is going on in that little cat brain?

If This Isn't the Cutest Thing You've Seen All Day...

2011-02-15T22:28:00.001-05:00

Lily & Hope playing with each other and one of the tiny cubs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5U_ZorvtZg

It is interesting to see Hope's development as a big sister. As I've mentioned before, it's rare for two sets of siblings to be around each other.

Where is the other cub? There are two; one male and one female. Perhaps the other is under Mom?
Not as dangerous as it sounds - they need to stay warm at that age!

Hostage Bites Eric at Dinner?

2011-02-12T12:49:00.002-05:00

From the new True Blood blog:
Now I don’t want to give away too many details, but today’s call sheet includes the words hostage, bites, dinner and Eric.

Now, I'm not going to say my headline is the way it will be... but it would be more original than Eric biting someone, don't you think?

I'm still waiting for the True Blood/Torchwood crossover where one of the vampires figures out Captain Jack is essentially a never-ending blood supply - you can drain him nightly and he just revives the following day, ready to go again by nightfall. He'd give Sookie a run for her money as "vampire crack," anyway. And Ianto could try and rescue him... oh, wait, that's right. They managed to kill off one of the most interesting characters on the show last time around. Unless maybe he could have been made a vampire? And could even be the one holding Captain Jack hostage? "You're mine for eternity, hope you don't mind. Maybe you should have said you loved me when you had the chance." Oooh, that would be an evil fanfic. Too bad I don't write them.

A Few Photos of My Costa Rica Trip:

2011-02-11T21:51:00.000-05:00

Motmot bird:

Blue parrot:

Parrots on a terrace:

There is a toucan here, hard to see with the green foliage behind him. He's on the feeder:

A two-fingered sloth eating (pretty much all they do besides sleep):

Speedy, the three-fingered sloth:

Not a great picture, but this is a quetzal, very rare, beloved by the Maya. He/she is really high in a tree and we had to take the photo through a telescope lens:

A coati:

A beautiful sapphire hummingbird:

Can you spot the crocodile?

Howler monkey (alpha male):

Tamarindo sunset:

2011-02-10T21:43:00.003-05:00

I know I've said I'll post some of my photos from my Costa Rica trip, but so many great, fun videos are going up at the North American Bear Center, I just have to link to them. Today's update page has a link to a couple of videos that will bring a smile to your face, one of Honey hogging food while Ted moans and begs in the background (sounding pitiful indeed; if all bears sounded this way people would be throwing food at them). This is another video that demonstrates Ted's gentle nature. He's more than big enough to start a fight with Honey and win (he outweighs her by about 400 lbs.) but nope, he's just going to mope and groan like he hasn't had food in weeks. The 2nd sort video is of Honey attempting to walk in deep snow - let's just say, a bear's short legs and winter-heavy body aren't meant for the snow. Bear snowshoes, anyone?

Costa Rica photos tomorrow, I promise.

Speaking of Not Getting Sleep...

2011-02-09T13:59:00.003-05:00

Meanwhile, in Ted & Lucky's den, Ted is finding it hard to sleep when a young bear wants to snuggle:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5drHPKBvhPk

And can I say, we have like single-digit wind chills here today, and if I could get away with just hibernating in a warm snuggly den for the next couple of months, I would.

Siblings can be a pain...

2011-02-06T16:37:00.002-05:00

Literally, as Hope found out. Normally big sisters don't have to go through having a sibling clinging to their head who just won't let go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRCJ3jD2MN8

On another note, just finished the alumni workshop today and it was fabulous as usual... good discussion and lots of new ideas and energy for moving on. We all have a plan for what we want to accomplish by the next time we meet. Now if we can only stick to it...

Hibernation? Nobody's Getting Much Sleep in Here...

2011-02-02T10:39:00.005-05:00

I just watched a video of the Lily & Hope den cam posted yesterday to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx-h9pv6-HY . There is some speculation that there might be three cubs, not two, which would be very unusual. One thing's for sure, there's a lot of screaming going on. You do get good glimpses of the cubs, though, especially after the 1'20 mark. The other larger bear in Hope, squeezed in with her mother and the cubs, still trying to nurse. You can see Lily trying to nudge at least one of the cubs over to find a good nursing spot. They are so tiny right now, they could fit in the palm of your hand... but like most babies they make noise well beyond their size!

2011-01-31T22:16:00.003-05:00

Just watched a new (?) bear documentary on the National Geographic channel, this time with Ben Kilham, the guy in New Hampshire who rehabilitates orphaned bear cubs into the wild, and does his own research into black bear behavior. Lynn Rogers was on, too, as the program focused on some of Kilham's theories that are more controversial - for example, that bears exhibit more social behavior than most scientists think. He's not a trained scientist and he works with specific bears in the area where he raised them, so there are some valid questions about the size of his data samples and his interpretations of his observations. As Lynn pointed out, bears have very different personalities, so you need a pretty large sample size if you are going to try to generalize observations about behavior.

In other amazing bear news that happened while I was away, Lily has had two cubs! Hope, her yearling, is also denning with her, and so far she seems to be responding well to her new siblings, even though it's not a usual thing for a mother to have a yearling and new cubs in the same den. The story of why it's happening this way is on the NABC page that also features the den cam: http://www.bear.org/livecams/lily-hope-cam.html

The long silence on the blog is due to the fact that I was in Costa Rica for vacation. Yes, warm, sunny, not-snowy, above-freezing Costa Rica. I'll try to put some photos up soon. We saw some amazing birds and other animals: a quetzal, coatimundi, sloths (two-fingered and three-fingered), a crocodile, an ibis, howler monkeys, parrots... also a tarantula inside its nest (which is a hole in a mudbank) so that meant we just saw some tarantula legs, which is fine by me. They looked big enough, thank you. We also saw a couple of eyelash vipers, which sounds like Viper Barbie - they come in different colors (not pink, though) and have scales that look, I guess, like eyelashes.

I had a two-day layover in Miami while waiting for the snow to clear so I could land in New York for the SCBWI conference. They had some good speakers - I particularly enjoyed Lois Lowry, Sara Zarr, and Linda Sue Park - and we had a fun dinner with alums from the MFA program. I also sneaked in a trip to Leonidas for my annual chocolate fix. Sadly, that was the only chocolate I got to sample this trip, owing to my late arrival. But that's okay - if I sneak in much more chocolate, my next shopping spree will have to be to buy new pants.

I came back to snowbanks higher than my head (okay, it's not like I'm that tall, but still) and the prospect of more snow tomorrow and Wednesday. Like maybe 16 inches more. If we get that much snow, I at least want a snow day out of it.

Well, This Might Change Your Self-Concept a Little...

2011-01-13T10:40:00.002-05:00

Apparently astronomers have just figured out that we've been calculating the zodiac incorrectly for the past, oh, couple of thousand years. The ancient Babylonians are the ones who invented it, and the actual dates for each sign according to them are as follows (including one you've never heard of):

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus:* Nov. 29-Dec. 17. (I guess the Babylonians wanted 12 signs after all so they got rid of this one. I have no idea what the personality profile is for this one. If you were born between these dates and feel perennially confused and like you don't fit in, that may be why.)
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

The good news is, I'm still a Virgo. The even better news is that even more of my friends are apparently Virgos than I thought. In fact, almost all of my friends now fall into Earth signs. Hm. And here I thought I was an open-minded person, accepting of others. Oh wait, I'm a Virgo.

Sorry if this engenders any personality crises. I'm just the messenger here. I wonder if astrologers are going to start using this system, or just keep the old one?

If You See A Blue Police Box in Mirkwood....

2011-01-11T17:13:00.002-05:00

This might be why: "David Tennant joins the Hobbit?"

If it's true, way to cross geeky fandoms! I can see him as Thranduil, although it will be a different role for him - Thranduil in the book is proud, a little arrogant, greedy, and suspicious, although in the end he respects Bilbo. It might be a bit odd to see him play Legolas' father, especially if Orlando Bloom signs on (there's only a few years' difference between them in real life, although obviously as elves all bets are off). I don't know if they'll have time to explore any backstory between them, but I imagine this relationship as being nearly as fraught as that between Denethor and Faramir. I guess we'll find out! When are these movies coming out again? Oh, they haven't even started filming? Sigh.

Lily & Hope Are Back!

2011-01-08T15:09:00.003-05:00

Well, they never exactly went away, although there was quit a bit of drama over the time they left their den until now. But they are denning together, and once again the NABC has set up a den-cam to capture what's happening inside the den. This may be very interesting since Lily split up from Hope and possibly mated with a male bear in June, which would mean she's pregnant now and about to give birth. It is very rare for a female to give birth to new cubs while a yearling is still around (normally Lily and Hope would not have split until June of Hope's second year) so if Lily does give birth we'll have to see how Hope takes to the competition for her mother's milk, heat, and attention. You can view the bearcam here. There are also regular updates on Lily & Hope's Facebook page.

On a personal note, the MFA residency has begun, so updates to the blog might not be as frequent as I do the usual running around to make sure everything is going smoothly. Or looking at things not going smoothly and just shaking my head. Oh, well.

Happy New Year!

2010-12-31T12:16:00.002-05:00

I know this has been around a bit already, but I thought it a fitting gift for the end of 2010. Optimism, perseverance, and curiosity - all great traits we can carry with us into 2011.

Although I guarantee you these bears are thinking one thing: is this edible?

Whew! A Milestone Reached!

2010-12-18T11:08:00.002-05:00

The last post was my 300th post!

Just had to share this. There may be an internal memo at the BBC: "from now on, put spiked eggnog in green room after the caroling..."

And This Is Why I Rarely Decorate My Cakes...

2010-12-14T18:43:00.000-05:00

Check out www.cakewrecks.com for some hilarious examples of professional cakes gone horribly wrong. Since I'm normally doing my baking (and decorating) after 8:00 pm - usually ending around midnight or so - and since I'm not an artist to begin with, you really don't want to see what I might come up with that late. Besides, I personally hate tons of frosting, and I want to focus on the taste of the frosting and the cake, not the appearance. How many of us have had cakes that looked great and then tasted... blah?

I made a coffee cake last night that I think I have to tweak. People seemed to really like it, but I thought the filling was too sweet (less sugar and more cocoa powder next time) and it was supposed to be "cappuccino" cake but I didn't taste any coffee at all. Maybe a mocha drizzle? Stronger coffee in the cake? I'll have to think about it.

Can You Guess What I'm Imagining Right Now?

2010-12-10T18:13:00.000-05:00

After reading this article: "Stay Thin By Imagining Yourself Eating Stuff," I just inhaled a chocolate bar. Fortunately it was one of Trader Joe's 100-calorie dark chocolate bars, which by the way are good quality chocolate and are totally enough to quell that craving. But I could see how the imagining thing works for those times when calorie-controlled portions aren't available. I used to think it was okay to eat things in twos, until I realized that I basically scarfed the first whatever-it-was, and only really savored the second. Now I try to savor the first one, and find that I am usually satisfied with that. Old habits die hard, though, and it's all too easy to eat on autopilot. Mindfulness is key.

Bears!

2010-12-09T23:41:00.000-05:00

Because I haven't posted any bear photos or videos for a while, here's a great one of adorable cub Hope and Mama Bear Lily near their bedding site. It's from April. Lots more Lily & Hope videos on their Facebook page.

The Countdown Begins...

2010-12-08T23:31:00.001-05:00

Filming on Season 4 of True Blood is underway... I can't believe we have to wait until June to see it. Once again, they are introducing a bunch of new characters. Claude has been cast, and it's not who I would have pictured - but they usually do a good job (although I wasn't thrilled with Claudine either) so I'll withhold judgment. I still think John Barrowman would have kicked it as the gay fairy stripper, but I think Torchwood is filming at the same time, so that would be a challenge. Do I smell a True Blood/Torchwood crossover? It would be kind of hilarious, actually...

My favorite news comes from the results of the Bill/Eric charity fundraising smackdown, narrowly won by Bill. You can see the results here (scroll down to "Bill and Eric show Battle of the Fang T-shirts"). Stephen got to design them; it may lead some fans to think that, since Sookie's given them both the boot anyway, they might as well... no, I guess that would stray too far from the books now, wouldn't it? And I don't think Eric's going to forgive Bill too easily for pushing him into the cement (even though it was stupid and not well thought through). Bill needs to stifle his impulses and come up with a real plan. I can't wait to see Amnesiac Eric. And I can't wait to see Bill's face when he realizes Sookie is falling for Amnesiac Eric. Because you know that, unlike the books, Bill is not going to be in Peru while all that is going down.

2010-12-07T18:06:00.000-05:00

That's it, I'm officially changing my name to "Supreme Goddess." My signature will be "*!*" .

"Man Goes From Smith to Awesome."

2010-12-05T23:25:00.002-05:00

I was really excited to find a website devoted to petite women (with magazine coming soon): bellapetite.com. I was directed there by reading an article on boston.com about a woman who wrote a prize-winning essay about being petite (read it here) and is also writing a book on successful petite women. I'm all for petite women getting some recognition for serious achievement, although in the end I find myself ambivalent about the whole "movement." If it generates more respect, great, but as Suzette says in her essay, sometimes it's better when they underestimate you. I don't think of my height at all unless someone points it out to me, or unless I'm standing next to someone really tall, or see myself in a picture with a bunch of taller people. Sometimes it's a pain when I need to change a light bulb, or have to factor in the cost of hemming for every pair of pants I buy (unless they are "cropped" which to me means "pants I don't have to hem - Yaay!"). I have a sense of humor about it when people insist on pointing it out like I'm some strange alien creature, but come on, let's get over it, already. It can be irritating when people label me as "cute" and dismiss me - but we're all guilty of stereotyping based on looks. It also irritates me when people talk about being short like there's something wrong with it (I can think of a lot worse things to be, such as "an idiot"). It's strange to me, though, that bella petite considers women 5'5" and under "petite." Really? 5'5" is petite? I would think maybe 5'3", but I guess they need to maximize their audience. Anyway, if you're 5'5" or under, go check it out and support the "petite and powerful" movement. Or at least get a laugh out of reading some of the articles ("MMA Champ Terrorized By Petite TV Reporter").

This is Just Scary

2010-12-04T12:53:00.000-05:00

From the Boston Review: Books After Amazon.

I just can't even begin to comment. And yeah, I've bought from them (hangs head in shame). How will I feel when I finally get something published and get a whole $10 in royalties for years of work?

Another question, though: if not Amazon, would someone else have done the same?

2010-12-03T12:38:00.002-05:00

This is hilarious. Unfortunately, this is far too similar to some of the conversations I have with prospective MFA students. Really. That banging you hear coming from my office is just my head hitting my desk. Repeatedly.

So You Want to Write a Novel?

2010-11-29T20:38:00.000-05:00

It's always good to be amused after a long holiday, faced with the prospect of going back to work, and this article on slate.com did the trick for me. The writer seems to make a number of assumptions based on, perhaps, a quick perusal of Poets & Writers magazine:

Most of what he says seems to be geared to full-residency programs, which right away leads a number of hilarious errors, such as the fact the writers in MFA programs have vast swathes of time to wallow in feeding their muses. In fact, most of the students in my low-res program work full-time, and many have families on top of that.
MFA programs cost $80,000 (for that money, I'd better come out with a J.D., not an M.F.A) I mean, really?
MFA programs employ lots of writers with well-paid teaching gigs. In fact, the author of the article seems to imply that there are more jobs available to those with an MFA degree than to graduates with other degrees (huh?). While picturing our faculty picking themselves up off the floor, wiping tears of laughter from their eyes, I will admit this: yes, because there are more programs then ever before, yes, there are more teaching positions than ever before. However, with the growth of new programs comes an exponential explosion of graduates with MFA degrees. 99% of these will never get well-paid tenure-track jobs teaching writing. Most, if they teach at all, will end up with poorly-paid adjunct gigs with no benefits, and if they're lucky they'll teach one section of creative writing. Otherwise, it's freshman comp, with all that implies - weeks of facing classrooms full of dull-eyed resentful students barely giving a flicker of attention in between texting their friends and handing in papers that make one wonder if they actually graduated from high school and if so if they ever took an English class.
Related fact #2: I get emails and letters weekly from would-be teachers, many with fairly impressive credentials, to whom I simply reply that we are not looking for faculty at this time, but we will keep their application on file. We do, in fact, have a bulging drawer full of applications that we never look at.
Related fact #3: if you want something beyond an adjunct position, publish a book. At least one, and I don't mean with some self-publishing company.
As for all those visiting writer gigs, and conference keynote gigs... read an issue of Poets & Writers, or AWP's Chronicle. You'll see the same names over and over. Maybe 50 or so people in the country can actually claim some or all of their income from this type of activity. I'd do the math about what an infinitesimal percentage of the writing population this is, but I'm not a math person. I'm a writer.
Myth: once you become a professor, you don't need to continue to publish books.
Fact: short stories are the primary teaching tool of many MFA programs because you can, in fact, learn a lot about fiction writing by breaking it down into the component of story Not all programs, however, focus only on short story writing. Low-res programs, for example, often offer the possibility of working on a novel.
And let's not forget, the cautious, bottom-line approach of the increasingly hegemonous publishing industry shapes almost everything that gets published, and what gets captured by the public imagination. Yeah, there are small presses, and self-publishing, but let's face it, everyone really wants to be published by a big house, get the big advance, have the big sales... and that always has been a tiny percentage of writers, and probably always will be. The author of the article is right about contemporary writers being shaped by cultural and commercial forces, but that has always been true to a certain extent.
"No one with 'literary' aspirations will expect to earn a living by publishing books." Um, duh. Fact: only a handful of people, in this or any other country, earn a living mainly or solely by publishing "literary" books. This is not new. Only a few people earn a living by publishing so-called "popular" or "commercial" books. Never mind that this is a silly dichotomy. There are crappy literary novels, and crappy popular novels, and well-written, thought-provoking, entertaining examples of each.
Both cultures, the NYC vs. MFA, are insular and circular to a ridiculous degree. 99% of America doesn't realize or care. I'm not passing judgment, just stating a fact. Literary artists of all kinds like to defend the nobility of their calling, but in reality that are just as hungry for fame as any pop-star wannabe. They lust after the few great prizes, the bestseller lists, to be one of the 50 who get invited everywhere... they can be just as greedy, narcissistic, and addicted to unhealthy substances as any Hollywood star. They can have the same defensive snobbishness as the high school geek clique. Can they produce great art? Yes. Can they ask important questions, create visions of who we are or what we could be? Yes! Writing is important. Good writing is important. Reading is important. I wouldn't have gotten my MFA degree if I had believed otherwise. But sometimes we writers get a little too shrill about how important we are, and make meaningless distinctions, such as between literary or commercial fiction, or NYC writers vs. MFA writers.

Will We Ever See the End of Harry Potter?

2010-11-23T17:56:00.003-05:00

I saw the latest Harry Potter movie the other night, and enjoyed it, although I have to give a grade of A- or possibly B simply for the glacial pacing. Honestly, I wondered if the plan wasn't to just keep us in the same seats until the next one comes out in July. The seventh book in the series was overwritten, and the movie didn't correct any of that. It wasn't just the long scenes in various woods with the characters talking, - there were too few scenes with all the other characters we've grown to love and hate. I think the main problem is the lack of tension due to the fact that Voldemort is off-screen for most of the movie. For too long, HP and friends are trying to find the horcruxes - but the search is not exactly an exciting fast-paced chase with danger at every turn. They spend weeks in the woods not knowing what to do. Realistic, perhaps, but not exciting to watch. My mind wandered to the point that by the time the big snake appeared in Godric's Hollow I lost track of the story. Hey! Action! Er - what's going on?

At least they didn't film it in 3-D. I'm so over the 3-D craze. To me, it doesn't add that much. In fact, since I can't wear my glasses and the 3-D glasses at the same time, it makes the film dark and fuzzy whichever way I go. And now I hear they are going to make all the other Harry Potter films 3-D and re-release them. Why not? Cash cow, keep on spurting cash.

Okay, this is sounding rant-y, and I didn't mean it that way. I liked the movie, but I didn't love it. And as with the book, I'll probably forget the details almost immediately. I think that's okay. All I'll really need to know is: final three horcruxes, battle to the death with Voldemort. Bring it on!

Whoo-Hoo!

2010-11-20T15:49:00.003-05:00

I'm very happy to report that my friend and mentor, David Elliot, had his book In the Wild picked as a Kirkus Top Ten of 2010 Best Children's Book! Check it out (and the other winners) here.

Now back to work... and sadly, by "work" I mean work, as in revamping the IR website to accommodate the new low-residency program. Not my favorite thing to do of a Saturday afternoon, but it's not like I'm going to get the time and focus to do it during actual working hours. It's that time of year - and I'm not talking about the holidays, but the time of year when work spreads its tentacles into any and all hours. Good thing it doesn't require too many brain cells, because workmen are here doing something to the roof - something that involves a lot of banging, and going up and down squeaky ladders.

2010-11-16T13:55:00.000-05:00

So, my final thoughts on seeing the last of Captain Jack (for a while) at the end of "The End of Time":

does anyone think he got excited for a minute thinking the Doctor was finally interested in him?
does anyone else think Alonso Frame looks a little like Ianto? (Actually, when I saw him it took me a minute to think where I'd seen the actor before: in Being Human, were he plays the werewolf. Funnily enough, when I saw Being Human, I did think of Gareth David-Lloyd in that role and wondered if he'd auditioned for it.)
does anyone else think it's weird that the Doctor is now pimping for Captain Jack? Like, here's your next shag, now get over Ianto! And, like Jack needs the help? Because he's completely incapable of finding nooky on his own...
Will we be seeing Alonso in Torchwood Season 4? If so, I can't wait to see Gwen's expression if Jack comes back with a guy in tow that looks more than a little like the last one...

Although I know some people squawked about putting Jack together with someone else, but now that I've seen it I think it works, especially since there is a resemblance. Jack isn't over what happened yet, but in a way the Doctor is telling him it's okay to move on. And Jack, after all, has the rest of time to live through. I can't buy that he would be celibate for eternity. And I don't think Ianto would expect that, either. Although I will miss their banter... and um, other scenes.

Please let the 4th season not suck.

This Is One Tough Cat

2010-11-15T13:16:00.000-05:00

I've posted a video of a cat chasing a bear up a tree before, but this is a whole other level of toughness. I want this cat as my personal Security Cat:

I Hate To Tell You, But You're Being a But-Head

2010-11-14T12:35:00.002-05:00

It's the ultimate in passive-aggressive behavior, and yet we've all done it: prefaced something we're about to say with a statement intended to protect us from any charges of rudeness or negativity.

"I hate to tell you, but..." (no, you don't; you're secretly loving this)
"No offense, but..." (if no offense is intended, then don't say it)
"With all due respect..." (pretty much indicates the person has no respect for you whatsoever)
"I don't mean to be rude, but..." (then don't be)

I think most, if not all, of us have fallen into the trap of covering our butts with a phrase preceding the word "but" that is a screaming indicator that we actually do mean what we're saying, we're just too chicken to own up to it. There's a great article on boston.com today that talks about this.

Awareness of and owning up to our own communication style and content is important. And as a former ESL teacher, this article intrigued me because no matter how advanced my students were, I never covered this type of thing with them: what are the ways in which people hide their true meanings behind words? In learning Japanese, for example, we were taught some of the clues that indicated what the person meant was not what was actually said. It's a language in which indirect communication is prized, and students of the language and culture are aware of it. In native-English speaking countries, however, there is the assumption that our communication style is always direct: we say what we mean. Those of us embedded in the culture know that's not always the case - the phrases above point that out - but non-native speakers might be forgiven for confusion at having the conversational rug pulled out from under them in this way. Those who live in a culture long enough will eventually understand it, and even, perhaps, begin to use it. It's another fascinating example of the way that language is culture: a verbal map of how we see the world, and interact with others.

2010-11-13T17:52:00.002-05:00

I survived the week of the NAFSA conference. I think I was one of the few who commuted to Warwick, but it wasn't as bad as I feared. True, there were moments when I felt like part of that Dr. Who episode where the people are stranded for years in a giant traffic jam where going a few feet per day is a major accomplishment... and frankly, having David Tennant leap into my car would've been a pleasant surprise in the middle of the monotony (not really, though - I mean, jumping into someone's car on the highway is pretty much the definition of crazy or criminal, and one hopes he's neither) but overall, not too bad, although also not something I would want to do every day.

In this week's disturbing news, James Frey (yes, that guy, the one who had to apologize for making up parts of his supposed memoir that became so popular) has started a YA book "factory." He hires people to write the books, and they get - get this - $250 - for the book, plus percentages of any film or other media rights. Sounds nuts, right? And yet it's already worked for one aspiring author. (Full article here). I haven't read this book, but this whole idea just seems to be a Crap Factory waiting to happen. Do we need more crappy kids' books? The fact that the first "successful" book has been optioned by Michael Bay (ugh) and Steven Spielberg (hmm) is confusing - if what they're after is success in film, tv, and merchandising, why not write a script in the first place? Maybe I just have a higher tolerance for low-grade, totally commercial visual media vs. books. My own prejudices revealed. The fact that I have no respect for James Frey doesn't help. I'm not against kids' books being fun, or even commercially popular, but the literature gets enough disrespect without stunts like this. I mean, why YA? Can you imagine if he tried to create a "factory" that wrote nonfiction? Or adult fiction? Even genre fiction? No, he can get away with it because "it's only" YA. And YA, of course, is the new cash cow of the publishing world. Gotta get on that bandwagon!

Of course, kids won't care - they like what they like, no excuses. And if they like the books created by The Factory, so be it. Some of my favorite books as a child were written factory-style, i.e. the Bobbsey Twins and Nancy Drew. I loved them as a kid, but I look at them now and think, "wow, these are really... bad." Did it matter to me then? Nope. Did I grow up only reading crap because of them? Nope. But I find the idea of The Factory slightly depressing anyway - although he seems to be recruiting his writers from MFA programs, at least. And Columbia's a good one, although it doesn't have a specialization in writing for young people, which makes me wonder if the writers who submitted to the Factory really want to write for young people, or if they are seeing as an easy way to - make money? get noticed? - for now, and they'll do their "real" writing later. Yeah, tell me in ten years how well that's worked out for you...

My, my, I'm snarky tonight, aren't I?

2010-11-08T22:56:00.002-05:00

I'm watching my new guilty pleasure, The A List on Logo. I don't know why I started watching this - I stumbled upon it while flipping through channels one night - and now I'm hooked. For those who don't know, it's a reality show about a group of gay men in New York. It fascinates me how some people don't seem to mind having the most personal moments of their lives recorded for tv. It's celebrity culture taken to an extreme, like "my life is somehow validated because it's recorded on film for people to see." Still, it's trashy fun (although in some ways they're oddly uptight about things - like, skinnydipping bothers you? Good thing you don't come on vacation with my family... okay, granted, we don't do it in broad daylight).

Of course, all this trashy tv watching is Grade A Resistance to doing what I should be doing, which is working on my next book. I am reading a fantastic book on Resistance right now, called The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield. It's all about how sneaky and powerful Resistance is when we're doing anything important - creating art, starting an exercise program (or anything health-related), starting anything that will benefit our spiritual growth - in fact, the more important said Thing We Say We Want To Do is to our mental, physical, or spiritual health, the more Resistance is likely to sway us with all the reasons why we shouldn't or can't do it. It's easy to let Resistance win because it's the most rational voice in our heads. "One more candy bar isn't that many calories." "I'm too tired to exercise." "I'll work on my novel once I figure out what scene I want to write." "I'll meditate tomorrow morning - I got to bed late last night; I deserve to sleep in." My current favorite: "I'll read The War of Art later. I want to watch The A List." Yes, I even have Resistance to reading a book about overcoming Resistance. The thing is, the only power Resistance really has is the power we give it. Enough of me blabbing about it. Check out the book here.

I should be inspired; we had a really great alum workshop this past weekend. I love seeing how other people are coming along with their work, and getting feedback on mine. We have such a talented, fun, smart group of people; I really feel blessed.

The regional NAFSA conference begins tomorrow. Three grueling days of schmoozing in the exhibit hall, going to sessions, and even presenting at a session. To say nothing of the grueling commute to Warwick, RI. I may regret not staying in a hotel, but it will be nice not to deal with the hassle of packing, and to be able to sleep in my own bed. There may not be any more blog updates until the end of the week, though.

I've Solved the Mystery!

2010-11-01T22:40:00.000-04:00

You may have heard of the mysterious woman extra who appears to be talking on a cell phone in an old Charlie Chaplin film. Many theories have been floated to explain her presence, the most popular being that she is a time traveler. But I ask you:

- are there other people with cell phones around? If not, who is she talking to? How are they communicating, anyway? No cell phone towers in that era. Unless she's talking with someone from now, in which case, that's still a pretty powerful tower to be able to communicate through time as well as space. I guess they're not using AT&T. Maybe Verizon - Can you hear me now?

- if she has the technology to time travel, wouldn't she have better communication technology available than a cell phone?

No, I think the only possible explanation is that she is a companion of Dr. Who. Remember, he gave Martha a call phone to call him in a future emergency - a phone which presumably can connect through time and space. Why a Companion would be in such a hurry to get off Chaplin's movie set is an open question - presumably there is some galactic-scale emergency happening that they have to deal with, and so therefore, if you see an old British police box in the next frame, don't be surprised.

2010-10-30T11:53:00.003-04:00

I'm sure everyone is as sick as I am of all the political ads. Can Tuesday just come already, so we can vote and get it over with?

But if you think today's mudslinging is bad, watch this video, created using actual words politicians used in 1800 to slander each other. I mean, in those days they were creative! I mean, Thomas Jefferson was raised on hoecakes! How could anyone possibly take him seriously as a politician? It just points to exactly what
s wrong with this country. When hoecake-eating politicians take over, it's time to rethink going back home to Mama England.

2010-10-27T19:30:00.003-04:00

Okay, what little devil sat on my shoulder and told me it would be a good idea to go ahead and buy the Halloween candy while I was in CVS? Because putting me in the same house with chocolate is just a recipe for overindulging. "Take four... they're small." Four days to go until Halloween... for which I'll be an enormous bloated blob. And it won't be a costume.

One thing I have to keep in mind is that I currently fit into a skirt I bought in France but haven't been able to wear since I got back to the U.S. (home of sneaky tiny chocolate bars of waistline doom). I won't be able to wear it much longer if I don't lay off the chocolate. Maybe I should just wear the skirt all the time when I'm home, as a reminder.

The Rocky Horror Glee show was fun, although of course a bit sanitized to suit the tween set and 8 pm timeslot. It's funny; I don't think of Rocky Horror as that risque or shocking these days (what that says about me, I don't know). Last year I went to a live theater production of the show, which was a lot of fun, with an energetic cast (Frank 'n Furter was so energetic he went headfirst down the stairs... and came up singing. Now that's good.). There were actually a few people in the audience who seemed uncomfortable, which I thought was kind of hilarious. But, kudos to them for showing up and having their horizons widened.

Gonna watch I'll Do Anything tonight - I'm suddenly into reality shows that are actual talent competitions (good-bye, boring Survivor and Amazing Race). I've enjoyed Dancing With the Stars for a few seasons, although I'm struggling to get behind anyone in the current cast. Anyone else watching? Have a favorite?

I'm still working on work email at 8:00 at night... I feel like I'm working at bloody Torchwood. Minus the aliens. And the hot guys.

2010-10-25T23:13:00.000-04:00

Watching the new Sherlock Holmes last night: that scene with the two pills, and Sherlock has to choose which to take reminded me of the scene with Vizzini and The Man in Black in The Princess Bride. I half expected Sherlock to take the pill, then claim he'd spent the last ten years building up an immunity to "iocaine powder" or whatever. Yes, everything comes back to The Princess Bride. I liked it, though: an interesting modern reboot with two good actors.

And in totally unrelated news, a woman in Taiwan has decided to marry herself after failing to find a man she wants to marry. I could do this, but I'm not sure I'd want to be married to me. I don't cook or do other housewifely things (I pretty much only clean when I have houseguests coming or the dust bunnies threaten to smother me), I like my alone time, and I really don't want to argue with myself over what to watch on tv. I do like the idea of throwing myself a big party and taking myself on a honeymoon, though.

Randomness for Saturday afternoon...

2010-10-23T16:48:00.002-04:00

The Walkman has officially been discontinued. Really? This didn't happen twenty years ago? I remember I finally broke down and bought a Discman in 1995, in Japan. I think somebody gave me a CD and I had no way to play it. I still own at least one Discman - I use it for meditation.

Looking forward to Glee this week - the Rocky Horror episode, baby! It should be a scream. In my geeky, freaky, little heart I still love Rocky Horror.

I made Peanut Butter Banana Bread this morning. Yummy. Of course, I couldn't resist adding some mini chocolate chips. To be healthy I also added ground flaxseed. This is one filling bread. Forgot I'm probably going to be force-fed extremely rich and chocolatey cake at my friend's birthday party tonight. Yeah, like "force-fed" and "chocolate" belong together when applied to me.

Currently listening to the Love Actually soundtrack. The movie was kind of uneven; so is the soundtrack, but certain songs I love: "Both Sides Now," "Wherever You Will Go," "Songbird," and then the cheesy songs that make me smile: "Jump," "Christmas Is All Around."

Exciting news: The Hobbit finally has some cast announcements, drawn mostly from British tv actors. Bilbo will be playing Dr. Watson in tomorrow night's opening of the new Sherlock Holmes series on PBS. Maybe this movie (or these two movies) will actually get made while they still have Ian McKellen around to play Gandalf. I suppose Gollum and Elrond could be played by the same actors as well; it's taken them so long to make it Orlando Bloom might be able to pull off playing Thranduil, Legolas' father - unless they will somehow stick Legolas in? It will be interesting to see how they expand the book with new material - and let us really get into the scenes that are already there. The trolls, Rivendell, Beorn, Mirkwood, The Misty Mountains/Goblin/Gollum scene... Long Lake, the Lonely Mountain (Smaug!), the Battle of 5 Armies... there's a lot to work with. Anybody? What scenes/characters are you most looking forward to?

2010-10-15T18:24:00.000-04:00

I'm so happy that Michelle Paver has won the Guardian Children's Fiction Prize for the final volume in her Chronicles of Ancient Darkness series. It is a great series, combining my favorite areas of prehistory and fantasy. Yes, there are some similarities to Bear-Talker, but they are very different worlds. And Ian McKellan reads the audiobooks - how cool is that?

2010-10-14T19:51:00.000-04:00

Yikes, it's been forever since I've posted... and my visitor count has somehow doubled over the past few weeks, so welcome to those who might be checking the blog out for the first time!

A brief summary of what's been going on:

1) Mainly, being in Asheville, NC to visit friends. Lots of great food, good wine, laughter and conversation... spiced up with hikes in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains, which had the perfect combination of temperatures: 80 degrees and sunny during the day and cool crisp nights to make the changing leaf colors pop. Also visits to the Biltmore Estate (mind-bogglingly huge; you know you have too much money when you think, 250 rooms is just about right for a house) and downtown Asheville, where I have to give a particular shout-out to the French Broad Chocolate Lounge - mmm, mmm... not only do they have fabulous truffles and brownies, they have "liquid truffles" which are espresso-sized portions of chocolate so thick they serve it with a spoon. Another highlight was seeing the Womansong concert on Saturday - moving and fun, clearly a wonderful community of women who love to sing.

2) Work. The MFA residency doesn't prepare itself, you know. Plus we've had/are having a ton of Intercultural Relations and admissions events, the usual for fall. Doesn't leave much time for anything else.

3) Reading: John Barrowman's two autobiographies (warning: don't read on the bus unless you want some very strange looks from your fellow passengers when you start snorting your coffee through your nose with laughter. Not that this has happened to me, or anything); The Lost Summer of Louisa May Alcott, by Kelly O'Connor McNees; Wolf Hall, by Hilary Mantel; Loving Frank, by Nancy Horan; Daughter of Winter, by Pat Lowery Collins; and Revolution, by Jennifer Donnelly. I'm hoping to review the last two soon here, with the idea of putting up more reviews of YA books.

4) Writing. Yeah, gotta do that once in a while. There's an MFA alum writing workshop coming up, plus I've just joined a local writing group. Hoping it will help me be more regular about doing the work.

5) Watching tv. Working my way through Torchwood (I hope they don't water it down/screw up the U.S. version. It can be spotty, but when the writing is good, it sizzles. When the sexual tension is on, it... sizzles. It has in some respects the same combination of sexiness, humor, political/social commentary, and occasional goriness that True Blood has. No wonder I like it). And Dancing With the Stars is on, ya know. And I'm warming up to Glee. Looking forward to the Rocky Horror mashup in a couple of weeks. 'Tis the season to do the Time Warp again.

Um, Seriously?

2010-09-23T20:10:00.000-04:00

Will kids get this? Or will they just think it's weird? I think it's weird, and I know True Blood. Although the idea of Bill flinging his hair about like he's in a shampoo commercial and demanding - well, anything - is too hilarious. I guess you've really made it though if you're being parodied on Sesame Street.

That's a Nap!

2010-09-21T19:43:00.000-04:00

I finally got around to seeing the True Blood season finale. As usual, there was so much going on it's hard to process it all, but there were several surprises:

- Eric deciding not to kill Russell after seeing the vision from Godric while baking in the parking lot of Fangtasia. He wasn't relenting out of some change of heart. No, once Godric informed him the afterlife was all about peace, Eric was having none of that for Russell. Eric might love and revere Godric, but his #1 priority is for revenge. If Russell can be made to suffer a little longer, all the better. Hence the brilliant plan to wrap Russell in silver and bury him in concrete. Or as Russell conceives it, a little nap time. Somehow I don't think he's going to be any less crazy when he emerges.

- Surprise #2: Bill's decision to push Eric into the concrete as well. He also tries to take out Pam by calling one of Eric's assassins to go kill her. But she doesn't die easily, that one. Instead, she comes to help Eric out of the concrete, and in true new-Eric style, Eric decides that simply ripping Bill's head off would be way, way too kind. Instead he goes to Sookie and tells her exactly why Bill was interested in her in the first place, and that in fact he set up the confrontation with the Rattrays so he could get her to drink his blood. I have 2 questions about this, though: one, how did he know Sookie would be the one to save him from the Rattrays in the first place, thus setting up their beat-down of her the next night? (And everyone keeps saying that Bill made her drink his blood the first night they met.. uh, wasn't it the 2nd? he agreed to meet with her because she wanted to invite him to Gran's thing at the historical society?). Two: how does Eric know Bill let the Rattrays beat her up unless he, too, was there - and if so, why was he there? Did Sophie-Ann not trust Bill? Was Eric curious, or miffed that Bill got this assignment and not him? In any case, he didn't lift a finger to save Sookie either. I believe Bill truly does love Sookie now - but since their whole relationship is based on a lie, and he can't seem to control his evil tendencies - lying, killing for her and almost killing her, his rage against Lorena which takes, ahem, a twisted turn... and now he's in a death match against the Queen of Louisiana. Whatever he does, he'll lose: if he kills her, the Authority will come after him, which they presumably will anyway if he survives at all. He says he has nothing left to lose, and we know that he gets all crazy when that happens - look what happened after Lorena turned him. He wants to believe he's good. In his eyes, he is good: he can always justify what he's done. And yet - it remains to be seen where he goes in the 4th season. In the 4th book he goes to Peru, but somehow I don't see that happening here. I don't think Sookie would mind if Bill went to Peru... at this point he's lucky she just threw him out of the house, and didn't stake him and put him down the disposal ('bye, Talbot).

Yes, a lot more happened with Jason, and Tara, and Sam, and Hoyt & Jessica... and so on. But if I write down all that, it will take days. And those story lines aren't as interesting to me anyway. I can't believe we now have to wait until June to see what happens... this finale felt a little underwhelming to me, and from what I've heard, others feel the same way. It didn't feel like anything got wrapped up, and the cliffhangers weren't as compelling as, say, who took Bill at the end of season 2. Of course, this is all just sour-grapes complaining at having to wait 9 months for the next series...

Dolphinized...

2010-09-20T20:00:00.002-04:00

I look kind of like that alligator from my last post at this point... as in, scaly skin. The Caribbean was not kind to my complexion or my hair. My gene pool comes from Northern Europe, and when I travel to any place remotely tropical, you can tell. Other than that, I had a fabulous time, swimming with dolphins and doing yoga and meditation, and snorkeling and lazing on the boat... all this Stuff To Do around here is cramping my Bimini style. I want to be a dolphin, just swimming and playing in the water... dolphins don't have to do laundry or go grocery shopping or go to meetings or reply to hundreds of emails... I'll try to post some pictures; I didn't take very many since we were encouraged not to bring our cameras on the boat for several reasons: it would interfere with our being fully present with the dolphins, plus the danger of the camera going overboard or at least getting wet. Atmo made a fabulous DVD for us with shots of the week (in which my hair looks like it was enmeshed in its own personal hurricane in every shot).

To get a sense of what it's like, you can view this video shot by Atmo, one of the people who runs the Wildquest program. It's from last year but it's the same as what we experienced last week:

I Know It Was Unusually Hot and Humid Recently...

2010-09-10T22:32:00.000-04:00

but this alligator apparently got confused and thought it was actually in Florida:

Yep, he was spotted by a boater on the Charles River. Poor guy. I guess it's lucky they caught him now while he's still small (about 4 feet) - he'll eventually grow to 12. They're going to ship him to some rehab farm in Florida for gators. Hey, I'm headed there Sunday, I'll take him with me. Nobody will mess with my luggage, that's for sure.

Crossed fingers, no hurricanes at the moment. They must stay away until the 19th, at least.

2010-09-09T20:18:00.001-04:00

America needs this: an openly gay actor/singer/dancer/emcee who is not afraid to go in front of a live audience and sing "I Kissed A Girl" while dressed in some very, er... loose shorts, and high heels. This is why I love British tv. And can I just say, I mourn the loss of Friday night with Jonathan Ross? That show makes any U.S. talk show look lame and boring.

Yeah, John Barrowman has been on Desperate Housewives, but we need to find something as edgy or more so than Torchwood for him to play in. True Blood comes to mind. He'd fit right in there. Dropping trou? No problem. No sock? Alex wouldn't be the only one anymore, methinks. Kinky sex, with lots of blood splashed in? Check. He'd make a great vampire, although I'm trying to think of any upcoming ones he could play... there's Clancy, who's Bill's, um, whatever... I'm trying to remember - friend? companion? blood donor? I think JB is better looking than Clancy is supposed to be, but this is True Blood. Leave the ugly to someone else. Or he could be Claude... who doesn't have much to do in the books but that hasn't stopped the show in terms of other characters' development.

What Is This "Book" of Which You Speak?

2010-09-02T22:53:00.000-04:00

In case you ever have to explain to your young ones what a printed book is, author Lane Smith has provided a handy guide: It's a Book. There's a cool interview with him here. He's not anti-technology so much as "let's be thoughtful about our technology and how we use it," an idea I can definitely get behind.

To put it in a certain perspective, according to Amazon, ebooks outsold hardcovers for the first time last year. So in the future we may need a book like Smith's to explain what books were and why they were cool.

I just read Lev Grossman's The Magicians, about a kid who gets into a school to learn magic, and then finds a way to transport himself into a Narnia-like land of his childhood fantasy books, and finds that fantasy isn't all it's cracked up to be when it becomes reality. It's very dark, an adult book as opposed to a kids' book, although sophisticated teens could get through it. It's a take on Harry Potter and Narnia, yes, but with deeper layers of meaning and emotional complexity. There were a few places I thought it moved a little too slowly, but for the most part I really enjoyed it. I'm not giving some deep review here, obviously. But if you're a fantasy fan, read it. It's filed under fiction or literature, though, not fantasy, since it's clearly a literary cut above the usual genre fare.

2010-09-01T20:17:00.000-04:00

I read Mark Blankenship's very astute (as always) comments on this week's True Blood episode, and I think he sums up beautifully what is going on this season. The supernaturals (especially vampires) on the show have been compared to many outside-the-mainstream folks before, but he's right in expanding the view - and what many people who dismiss the show as campy schlock also miss is that for all the characters, there are internal and external struggles that define them and make them grow (or regress) as people.

Sam appears to be regressing. Tara is struggling to grow and move beyond the terrible things that have happened recently. Jason is struggling with being human in the midst of all the supernatural creatures around him - and also with the prospect of even having his football record, the one thing that made him special, taken away from him by someone who is, yes, souped up on vampire blood.

Bill and Sookie, in that scene in the car, are having to come to terms with the fact that they will never be a "normal" couple with "normal" lives again. They can dream, but they are what they are, and they will have to learn to accept that. Whether or not they can accept each other as who they are is an open question (and one poignantly answered by Jessica and Hoyt, who are beginning to function as mirrors of Bill and Sookie. For them, love does appear stronger than anything that has come between them - whereas Sookie still struggles to trust Bill, and possibly with good reason).

Eric, who seemed all cold-hearted vampire for so long, struggles more and more with feelings that must seem to him as well as Pam to be bizarrely human. He doesn't want to hand Sookie over to Russell, works with Bill to try to save her (I love that Pam calls Bill and "infatuated tween") and hesitates to bite her - and when he does, he strokes her hair in an oddly tender gesture. Bill's face as he helplessly watches Eric and Russell feed on her is terrible to watch. He may make mistakes, but he does love her - and if next season follows the books at all, he'll have to stand by and watch as she begins a new relationship with Eric. Although I doubt they'll have Bill go to Peru for half the season. Will he be moping around, mourning the loss of Sookie? Will he try to fight his way back into her good graces? Will losing her make him go off into a very bad place? Let's not forget the "nihilism" as he called it that he descended into with Lorena after he visited his wife, buried his son, and truly learned that he couldn't go home again.

And kudos to the actors who play Eric and Russell for perfectly portraying what it would be like to walk in the sun again after 1,000 and 2,800 years respectively. The stunned joy on their faces - and Russell's astonishment when he realizes Eric has betrayed him - was beautifully done. Also their scene in the museum, where Russell says, "the only man I ever loved had to die because you miss your mommy and daddy. Ain't that a kick in the pants."

Note to Bill: it's a good thing you didn't actually kill Pam. If Eric spent a thousand years waiting to exact vengeance for his murdered family, what do you think he'd do to you if you killed his progeny? You really need to start thinking above the waist, pal. Infatuated tween, indeed.

Ain't We Got Fun?

2010-08-31T20:25:00.000-04:00

I can't decide if this is the best or worst use of irony ever, but Eric's cell phone ring tone is apparently "Ain't We Got Fun."

Fun isn't exactly the word I'd use to describe anybody's situation at this point. Eric and Russell are handcuffed together in the sun, waiting to fry (maybe Eric is hoping that Russell will go up quicker since he's older, this giving him time to crawl back to Fangtasia - or maybe Pam will have some of Sookie's blood so she can go out there and drag him back?). Sookie herself is barely alive on the table. Bill is tied up, desperately trying to get Pam to untie him so he can feed Sookie. Pam is in tears as she watches Eric start to smolder (not in a sexy way). And Sookie is mad at Bill, again, because she thinks he's betrayed her to Eric and Russell. She doesn't realize it's all a cunning plan to save her and kill Russell. Too bad she can't read vampire thoughts, eh?

The little scene where they're planning their lives if they were normal... very sweet. Bill as a 3rd grade teacher. Um, not unless 3rd grade in Bon Temps is going to meet from 7:00 pm - 3:00 am. Bet he wouldn't have any discipline problems, though. Maybe they should have him teach Jr. high instead, the really obnoxious age.

None of the other characters are in a fun place either. Arlene - hm, will she have the baby after all? She should be scared, since this is Bon Temps and anything could happen. Lala and Jesus - something tells me Jesus ain't the sweet thang he's been cracked up to be. Interesting to see what's coming there. Jason running out to save Sookie - and then getting distracted by the quarterback using V to break his record. Okay, whatever. The scene between Tara and Andy was one of the best of this season. Two humans, dealing with real human issues of grief, regret, and needing to receive and give absolution. I don't feel like it totally resolved anything, but that also feels real. Tara might even find some peace knowing what really happened, and that it has deeply affected Andy and Jason as well. She also had a nice moment with Sam - they make a good couple, drawn together by their darkness but also able to understand each other (although she doesn't know he's a shifter yet).

Aargh - two weeks until the next and final episode. Three for me, actually, since I'm going away to swim with dolphins for my birthday. At least it will be easy to avoid spoilers since I won't have internet access.